Too Old and Too Tired

Wow it has been a few rough days. I feel like my head is spinning and all I want to do is sleep. I know though that sleep won't help it is an emotional tired that sleep doesn't fix. I started crying about 20 minutes after waking up this morning and the only thing going... Continue Reading →

Trauma and Tin Foil Dinners

Need a fire to make the dinner Parenting kids with trauma is super hard and yet it is what I signed up for when I adopted the kids. I feel stupid now that something didn't dawn on me earlier as I struggled hard with N. She went to respite this weekend and all of the... Continue Reading →

Sometimes existing is hard

I think the hardest part of the last few weeks is knowing on an internal level that M1 is not going to get herself together. At this point she has alienated my parents and siblings, they all want to be cruel to her. She has lost both children to friends/family. Its not that it is... Continue Reading →

Managing Frustration

N was away at respite this weekend. When I went downstairs to put some new clothes on her bed I saw the bag of chips that was missing. I sighed, second time in three weeks she has stolen food from me. I took her off the internet and waited for her to return and of... Continue Reading →

Home for Dinner

We were graced yesterday by M1, boytoy and predator...sigh, yes I invited them over. Apparently boytoy left a sweatshirt in the hamper here and he wanted it so they came over. I did invite them to have dinner and after M1 told me there is "no healthy food in this (meaning boytoy's) house" I was... Continue Reading →

Teen Stuff

UGGGG today I would like a do over and not because I want to do today over. I want to stay in bed and not go through the quagmire again. Yes everyone is fine just another day of parenting two kids who are teenagers I suppose. Today is church I tell the girls last night,... Continue Reading →

Tonight I am Angry

I decided tonight the problem I have is that I am angry. I can blame the kids for the anger but the truth is that it lies in myself. I am really angry with me and don't need to blame the kids. I am angry at myself for not doing a better job with M1.... Continue Reading →

Messy Relationships

No not mine, my oldest child's. Recently I saw that yet again M1 went to "in a relationship" status on Facebook. I knew who it was and I was sad, really sad. I felt helpless to stop her and angry she could not see what was going on. Let me tell you how it went... Continue Reading →

Today’s Church Sermon

There was a song from a long time ago that went like this: He sang as if he knew me In all my dark despair And then he looked right through me As if I wasn't there And he just kept on singing Singing clear and strong Strumming my pain with his fingers Singing my... Continue Reading →

Robbed Again then Screamed At

Sometimes I just get so tired that even sleep won't help. Right now I just want to yell and scream. I want to be aggressive to my oldest but instead I sit here and warn her to not speak another word to me today. What happened you ask.....well she again stole from me. Yesterday M2... Continue Reading →

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