When you burn bridges

So yesterday M1 sent me a message asking if I can watch Baby S. Now I had told her I was in pain from my knee, had been to a funeral, was stressed at work with the chaos the coronavirus has caused and of course none of it matters. She claims the apartment had no... Continue Reading →

Facing Hard Truths

Today I had N's CSE meeting. Overall it is a good meeting for sure. She has made a lot of progress in many areas. Of course there are struggles but we came up with plans to help and prevent as much as one parent can. Of course mid way through the meeting the CSE chair... Continue Reading →

Another Plan Unraveled

Have you ever thought "Please let me be wrong"? Well that is truly how I felt when I found out boytoy was joining the Navy and going to basic training. My head knew he could not make it through but deep down I did want him to succeed. Unfortunately, yesterday the call came and he... Continue Reading →

Sometimes existing is hard

I think the hardest part of the last few weeks is knowing on an internal level that M1 is not going to get herself together. At this point she has alienated my parents and siblings, they all want to be cruel to her. She has lost both children to friends/family. Its not that it is... Continue Reading →

Who is to blame?

I have had the baby since Thursday and I was exhausted to my core. I did not want to have to care for another baby. I am too old, too tired and frankly too angry. I have snapped at my kids and spent a ton of time crying in frustration. Additionally on Friday, M1 sent... Continue Reading →

When there aren’t words

Having M1 home has been hard on everyone. I know it stresses the kids out and of course their behavior is showing it more lately than before. We will start with N. Sunday.. N comes home from respite and immediately refuses to do anything asked. Rages against me telling me what a piece of crap... Continue Reading →

5 in the Bed?

Remember that two years ago I talked about having five kids at the end of the year. I thought it would be the Littles, N and my two. Yeah funny how life plays out AND yet the number 5 still sticks to all my paperwork. Today another county DSS came to see me at my... Continue Reading →

Tantrums are Contagious

I am sure Moms of younger kids will agree that tantrums are contagious but guess what for teens they are too!!! Yep fun fact, one kid has a melt down another will soon follow...all right maybe it is just at my house LOL We are driving to Tae Kwon Do on Saturday when N announces... Continue Reading →

Having Faith and not Fear

I just realized today how much time I spend hoping and thinking I am right. But we all have that one thing we hope to be wrong about...yeah it didn't work out for me. So the phone rings at 7:30 on Friday and it is the daycare Little Bit goes to, they found Mom beat... Continue Reading →

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