Gratitude

I know lately I have been complaining and venting a lot so I wanted to be sure to remember during the season of giving how truly blessed I actually am because yes it is hard to remember. Yesterday A sent me a message "I noticed you had a cold. Why don't you let me take... Continue Reading →

Sometimes existing is hard

I think the hardest part of the last few weeks is knowing on an internal level that M1 is not going to get herself together. At this point she has alienated my parents and siblings, they all want to be cruel to her. She has lost both children to friends/family. Its not that it is... Continue Reading →

Tonight's Message Exchange

Me: Are you home? I left a bag hanging on your door We got it thank you. Do you happen to have the baby’s first Christmas stocking? Me: No we looked through all our stuff too Mhmm.. ok hopefully I can find it, thank you. What are you doing for M2's birthday And I was... Continue Reading →

Who is to blame?

I have had the baby since Thursday and I was exhausted to my core. I did not want to have to care for another baby. I am too old, too tired and frankly too angry. I have snapped at my kids and spent a ton of time crying in frustration. Additionally on Friday, M1 sent... Continue Reading →

Nightmare Thursday

I am at work Thursday morning when my cell phone rings and it is protective services. "Do you know what happened last night with your daughter and her family?" My heart sunk and I wanted to throw up. I had picked Baby K up at 10:10pm after the Mannheim Steamroller concert the previous evening and... Continue Reading →

Snow Day

We live in upstate NY so the chance of a good snowstorm is par for the course. We are not fazed by much but this last snow storm....oh my. On the right was the snow on Monday, on the left snow today Tuesday. The snow blower was not working, then we got it to work.... Continue Reading →

Thanksgiving Trials

OMG my head hurts from the screaming fit N just had. She pushed me twice, slammed my stomach and threw crap at me. All this over the freaking internet. She doesn't want to be part of the family, she hates me she is moving out. She is calling Officer N from the school....ummm ok do... Continue Reading →

Grandbaby 2

Granddaughter 2, Baby S came into the world almost two weeks ago. Her Mom was creating a HUGE freaking scene both inside and outside of the hospital. She probably should not have done that...the hospital hotlined her and Baby S was not initially allowed home. CPS was absolutely unprofessional with me on this one. They... Continue Reading →

Too Many Tricks

Wow this is like a bad spin cycle that just won't end. Yesterday for the first time in 13 years, I actually told the kids we were not trick or treating and that their behavior was the reason why. M2 cried and screamed at me, N cried but knew she had messed up pretty badly.... Continue Reading →

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