Tough Times

It has been forever and it has been a lifetime all at the same time. I last wrote in August when we were on vacation, N was in a program and we were pending a court date for the babies. So much and yet so little is tough to admit. We went to court and... Continue Reading →

Vacation Get Away

I have to be honest, before the trial I had made a plan to go with the babies and M2 to Seaside Heights, NJ. I had it banked with my attorney to get approval from the judge if custody was not awarded. I had not told M1 and boytoy. I had also not told N.... Continue Reading →

Haunting Victories

Have you ever had a win that really hit you like a total loss? I think that best summarizes what happened in court this past Wednesday. We have been going to adjournment month after month since December with M1 and boytoy. Always some dumb answer came up as to why we couldn't resolve the neglect... Continue Reading →

Autopilot Mode

I looked at my therapist yesterday and said "Every morning I wake up I am angry because I woke up." Yes then I burst into tears because I hated myself for saying that out loud and because it was the truth. No I am not suicidal, yes it is depression. When you live in "resigned... Continue Reading →

When You Can’t Undo Things

N is suspended from school for 5 days, this is the smallest problem she has going on right now. I can't even believe the series of events as they unfolded even though I lived through it myself. It started on Tuesday with N refusing to go to school for the second day in a row.... Continue Reading →

Harsh Reality

I don't ever want to do today over again ever, period. The day started out ok with me taking the babies to get some donuts and me coffee. M2 joined me as I did an errand too just because why not it was gorgeous. We picked the stuff up and came back home. I told... Continue Reading →

St Patrick’s Day Walk

I am Irish, like for real Irish not just today is St Patrick's Day Irish. My maternal grandmother is from County Down and came here as a young woman to make a life for herself. I grew up with beef stew on St Paddy's day, green whatever clothes wise (NEVER Orange) and of course Irish... Continue Reading →

Where to Next?

I am somewhat at a loss today as so many things have fallen apart in just a few days, like three to be specific. My best friend lost her Dad last week and while it was sad she was not very close to him and more needed help in dealing with her family who tends... Continue Reading →

Night Photos

The kids were excited to see the night sky because it was so "haunting". We did have fun though but because of the cold weather and the fact it was low light a bunch of photos we took did not really come out clearly but here are our favorites. It was cool to watch the... Continue Reading →

February Days

I am not even sure where the time goes these days. I know on the second Friday we had the case manager visit. I know tomorrow she will arrive again, I mean at least she is supposed to I think. I called and asked but I did not her back so I will have to... Continue Reading →

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