Where to Next?

I am somewhat at a loss today as so many things have fallen apart in just a few days, like three to be specific. My best friend lost her Dad last week and while it was sad she was not very close to him and more needed help in dealing with her family who tends to be very negative. OK no problem, we have been friends for over 20 years I know her family’s MO and how to talk to her out of her own internalization of it. She came home and four days later her dog died. Her dog was her life, her purpose and her baby. She sobbed on the phone and I just listened, I mean what else can be done?

Meanwhile, my supervisor at work had to take her Mom to the hospital. When she told me everything going on I got a gut feeling it was over. I am not a doctor or a real medical professional but I know enough to know when things look bad. I just listened because I can’t help. I can’t make it better. The medical situation was grave at best and the doctors were doing all they could to help. My heart broke. I could hear her pain and was helpless to make it any better and that stunk big time. Today right before dinner she passed without pain and she did not suffer. My supervisor however is understandably beyond distraught. I want to hug her to let her know we are thinking of her. I sent a bunch of heart and caring emoji’s because sometimes words are useless.

I also did something today I truly have mixed emotions about regarding my oldest. What continues to frustrate me to no end is how she skates with no consequences for choices. Today, I made a bunch of phone calls. Now I am torn because I did it out of anger predominately but also because in one case it is a serious issue and the rest of them I just want them to face the music.

The serious issue is that both of them have said they have left their cat and dog in their old apartment and check on them once or twice during the day. On top of this, the dog looks emaciated because they cannot afford the food that her previous owner said is the only one she eats. Additionally, the cat has no shots, is not spayed and is dirty and matted. I don’t care if you screw your friends over but animal cruelty is nothing I will stand. I have asked you several times to get back to the old place, finish cleaning it and reclaim the pets. They have refused so I contacted the complex to relay the concern. I hate that the animals might be sick and have to be put down but if there is a chance they can be saved and helped they deserve it.

I contacted the complex to also let them know where they moved to. I know that they have left no forwarding address because all their mail is now coming to my house. OK did not agree to this so I told the complex their new address and where they were both working to be sure they could be gotten a hold of if needed. I don’t regret that decision, they need to pay up what is owed.

I contacted Rent A Center because despite the fact I have told the kids several times to call they have not. The last time the company called they were trying to reclaim the furniture they are renting but found they had moved. I don’t regret telling the exactly where they were and where the apartment was when you walk into the building. I am tired of these phone calls, I am tired of them lying and saying they took care of it. I am done and that is never good.

The last thing I did was to call welfare fraud. It was a bit tricky here because I work for the agency in the state who oversees the SNAP (food stamps) program. I knew that when they told me the dollar amount they get it is for a family of four. I know this because I worked on the mailbox for awhile this summer and know what dollar amounts are given for families of which size. I called and said I had paperwork showing I had custody of one of their children and have for over a year. I told them that I also had a neglect petition which stated their youngest has been at my home since November. Failure to report accurate family composition is in fact a crime.

I am angry and sad all at once. I hate that a person I care about, my BFF, is experiencing soo much loss. I wish I could take some of the pain for my supervisor. I want consequences for my daughter and yet I know that I can’t make that happen and I am not proud I did what I did. I hate hate hate feeling this way. I am hoping that we can all get through this and work through the pain and loss. I will continue to pray for my friend and my boss. I will also pray for my daughter and son in law so that they can start to grow up and become responsible.

2 thoughts on “Where to Next?

Add yours

  1. Been so busy I fell behind on your journey.

    Let go of that guilt friend. You did the right thing. Their behavior will continue unless something dramatic happens. Hopefully this will be the thing. You’ve been being supportive, accommodating, loving, and you still love your daughter, but boundaries are important. Sending you love and light.

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