We put up the Christmas tree today despite the fact I am no where near the Christmas spirit. At first N was being a complete jerk, yelling what a bitch I am and refusing to help with anything. I reminded her that if she wanted to feel less like an outsider then participating in family things would help. Unfortunately/Fortunately, we had a tough talk yesterday about her family and so of course today she is off her game and raging at me. Uggg I get it and fortunately, after a few minutes she chilled out.
Of course this means that M2 started yelling and screaming at both of us. Finally out of frustration I told her she can go to her room for a few. I am not sure what the heck is off with her. I am thinking it is part of having both babies here at the house and M1 being an awful human being whenever we talk to her. My BFF comes over mostly to cheer me up and keep my stuff together. She does like to set up the tree with us and the kids love having her at times so fortunately today it seemed to work out.
The highlight was Baby K and the Christmas lights. I plugged them into the wall and she started oooooing and ahhhhing almost immediately. All of the sudden she starts to dance and squeal saying “oooooo oooo Baby Jesus….” I am not sure what that was about but it was adorable for sure and yes today was Sunday and we had gone to church soooo maybe Baby Jesus came from there. Oh well so sweet and funny. Baby S also “helped” by carrying ornaments across the floor to her sister to put on the tree.
I tried not to think of the oldest though she did text me and ask if we were putting up the tree. I didn’t reply because I am trying to be civil and with the tension in the room already it was not something I thought could add to a better place. It was nice to have the tree up though as I love the lights for sure. I also found that my inflatable Grinch is good so once this windstorm passes we will be sure to put him up outside.
So while we didn’t put on The Polar Express like we usually do when the tree goes up, we did have everyone participate and that was good. There was laughing and fun so that was a nice break. It is tough to not talk about the elephant in the room, otherwise known as my oldest, but I tried to keep it light so that no more tempers would flair for the evening. I wish life was simpler but wishing gets me no where so I suppose it is time to start a plan of action. Hopefully I am strong enough to do it.