UUUUGGGGGGG is all I have to say about today and M2 and N. The morning started all right. I had bought a new Belgian waffle maker as I LOVE Belgian waffles. I had agreed with N that she could do nothing until 2pm. When I was done making them I let N know if she wanted to she could get one, no pressure. I also called to M2 and let her know. Both came out and ate no issue. N said “Do you want help?” I said “Thank you but no. I agreed that I would not ask you for help until 2pm which was the time we agreed on.”
Both girls go to their rooms as I packed up some shelf stable foods for our vacation next week. Baby K ran around and spent some time unpacking whatever I was foolish enough to leave in her reach. We laughed and laughed as I chased her around the house pretending to be angry she took something out of the box. Around lunch time we decided to go to the beach so that M2 and Baby K could play in the sand. I was going to go in the water but knew it was too cold for them to do the same. They played on the beach and I played in the water.
I come home and it is 2:45, the three things I left for N to do are of course, not done. I go to talk to her about it and I get raged at. She swears, she yells, she defies and then give me an ultimatum as if she was in charge. I keep my voice low, no anger in my voice, even tone and 20 minutes of arguing later she comes up screaming that all she is going to do is sweep the living room. After a few minutes where N really was sweeping, I asked the girls to come to the table so we can brainstorm meals for our trip. M2 was glued to her phone. I asked her 3 times to turn it off for a few minutes to go over this. Boom she starts to rage now. I ask her to knock it off and work with us so we can get the list done. Immediately she starts screaming and I tell her to leave the table and go to her room. She swears at me and says “Yeah well at least I don’ t break your fingers like some people do!!”(Yes N has broken two of my fingers.) N storms off yelling “I don’t have to put up with this sh**” and disappears into her room.
Are you f*** kidding me. I take M2’s phone and put it in my pocket. She threatens to break my new waffle maker. I went right up to her and said “The police are a phone call away. Unless you want your a*** hauled off for destruction of personal property and attempted assault, you will take your butt to your room to calm down.” Instead she grabs Baby K and starts saying things like “You need to go back to your Mommy, your Gramma is a ……(insert awful words here) and takes her into her room. I follow them into M2s room and start to clean up and by cleaning I mean throwing everything into a garbage bag. She screams at me and I said “I asked you to do this for 3 weeks. Now you are watching the baby so I will do it myself.” She says I am throwing out non garbage things and I reminded her if she had wanted it done her way she should have done it three weeks ago.
At this point poor Baby K is in tears. She is motioning now for me as M2 had grabbed her off the coach when she was sleeping. I take her from M2 and when M2 asks why she doesn’t want her I look her dead in the eye and say “You are telling her what a piece of trash I am and she is scared. She doesn’t know what you mean and all she knows is you are angry and being rough. So right now she feels the same way you do when N rages against me and you can’t do a damn thing.” I saw the look of shock on her face and walked out of her room. I called down to N and told her to get back up here because I still wanted to know what she wants for dinner even if M2 is not cooperating. N did return and I proceeded with her as if nothing had happened, it wasn’t her fault after all that M2 runs her mouth.
After several moments both kids sat down again at the table and we finished the dinner list. I looked at both girls and said that I wanted them both to look me dead in the eye and explain to me why it was all right to disrespect me and treat me like garbage when I am the ONLY person in their life at this time that works her butt off to get them all sorts of extras AND advocates for them in tough situations. Of course they can’t do this as they both know they are wrong. I remind them that if I had treated them the way they treated me they would be pissed off and upset too. I let them know that I am beyond aggravated with them both and both could go to their rooms without talking to each other or me. I reminded them to clean their rooms and told them if they decided to behave this way after right now no I would not help either with their rooms and I would shut off all phones til I was done being pissed off and angry.
After we all had a cooling off period, I went shopping for the foods they had asked for. I brought dinner home and we all sat and ate together no issues. After dinner both girls gave me hugs and told me they loved me. They helped clean up after dinner, took showers without prompting and went to their rooms. Baby K and I snuggled on the couch until she fell asleep. Well at least the night closed on a positive note. Yikes I hate days like this I really do.