We had a weird weekend this weekend. I decided to take the kids back to the beach because it was warm and something to do. Saturday was a bit cooler but not awful and the water was not freezing this time. They spent a lot of time in the sand as it was tough to social distance in the water with this one group of boys racing everywhere. No I am not mad, they are kids having fun and not hurting anyone.
While we dug holes my phone rang, thinking it was my BFF I picked it up. The woman asked my identity and then asked a series of crazy vague questions about having someone in the local hospital. I was just about to hang up when it dawned on me to clarify to this person that I am not foolish and will not give any information without the reason for the call. She then clarified that M1 and boytoy were in the hospital and she was the on call psychiatrist and she gave me her name. Fantastic now what?!?!?!
Well the bottom line is something to the effect that she was there but they would not tell me why because of HIPPA. OK I get that but then why on earth did you call me to begin with? I answered her questions and told her yes I had concerns with my daughter’s mental health. I said she was under a lot of stress, lacked confidence, had 2 indicated child abuse charges, fought regularly with her husband and all of this insanity in front of their infant daughter. I felt like nothing I said mattered to her but clearly some incident occurred that she was in the hospital and being evaluated by psy.
A bit later when we were packing to leave the phone rings again. The hospital social worker called this time asking about Baby S and my concerns. I spelled them out to her and of course she asked a ton of questions. I answered all of them but did not get the feeling this was going anywhere. She basically told me boytoy said he would keep M1 safe so she could go home. OK fine but then who keeps Baby S safe? Of course they don’t care, there is no real danger to the baby and a mom’s mental health issue is not concern for protective services. You are kidding me right? OK then don’t bother calling me anymore, no I did not say that part out loud.
I gathered up our stuff and drove us home. I felt completely defeated. Here my kid was screaming she needs help and then of course turning it around because she realized it could get serious. I am done, yes she needs help but dag darn it get the help you need and accept options given to you stop playing games. If you are going to play games then kindly leave my name and cell phone number out of it. I will support you getting help, I will not be a pawn in your games.
The rest of the day was just odd as well. It rained and then it didn’t. It was cold but then hot. All of it super weird. We ended up having ice cream and watching a movie after I took a bunch of pics of the flowers in our yard, yes in the rain with Baby K trailing behind me. Baby K just wants to be outside regardless of the weather. She is funny though and her screeches of laughter the whole time let us know that she really was having a lot of fun in the rain.
I tried not to think of M1 for the rest of the night. I was briefly diverted when I discovered N had stolen all the snacks out of our secret senior bag. Yep been stealing every week of this freaking quarantine and I am quite sick of it. I addressed it with her and then walked away. No point in dwelling on it or asking her why as I know she will not answer and it frustrates me.
Sunday, well N decided she was going to refuse to follow any directions, refused to leave the couch and screamed any time I asked her to help us out. After her third screaming tirade I looked her dead in the eye and said “I love you N but right now I HATE your BEHAVIOR.” I then took M2 and Baby K out of the house for awhile so I did not blow up at N because I could feel myself getting more and more angry. We did a few errands, grabbed a soda and some fixings for dinner. We came home and had dinner. N helped clean up and put the fixings away (we had chicken tacos) and went downstairs and did not resurface. M1 did not text or call me. M2 hid out in her bedroom catching up on work. Baby K and I well we took turns almost falling asleep on the couch until Toy Story was over and I actually took her to bed.
I am sorry the weekend went like this but can’t do anything to help it. I took all my meds, kept away from binge eating and walked away or cleaned to keep me from losing my crap. Oh well hopefully the week goes better.