Today my kids learned that sometimes life is also not fair to Mom. Unfortunately they learned it as I tried to eliminate curse words through the tears streaming down my face. Nope it wasn’t them this time it was actually work.
I explained to the kids at the beginning of the pandemic that sometimes you have to do things you don’t like to do because it will help others. I explained what this meant was that for some weekends I would now have to work. It would also mean that maybe sometimes at night I had to work later than usual even though I was working at home. They struggled hard with this concept. Why would I help people I don’t know and take away my free time. I told them that my reward would be extra money for helping that we could use for a nice vacation at some point. No they weren’t happy but they tolerated it.
But then they didn’t and so I had to start the job where I work 12 hours from home because we were voluntold by our Commissioner that our office had to be the lead. Yep life is unfair I explained to my kids. No I don’t want to do this but because my boss said I had to, I had to. I reminded them that the extra money would help and that yes it stunk but I would not work weekends so that we would have that time together. It seemed to hold things together a bit. I reminded them that the bosses in my office were working tons more than I was.
Today we got a memo from the Department of Labor that told us “all volunteers earning over time for DOL related work would be paid at a state grade 9 level” Now I am not necessarily money motivated but in our office, the other three doing overtime make this amount normally, me, well I make more. They will get their paid overtime and I will take a pay cut for any overtime hours. I know, at least I have a job. At least I am not needing unemployment insurance. At least I have my health and my kids are healthy. Yes I know all this, but I also know that for a week’s worth of work, I was lied to and led to believe that I would make more money than I would.
Now good news is that I don’t need that money but for me it is the principal. My poor kids saw me in tears on the phone with my supervisor as I struggled to not curse in her direction because you want me to do more work for less money? No one else in my office manages the training platforms, its all me. Everyone else in my office manages contracts and the folks can balance each other out. Me, well I am an only and even though I have said for 2 years now I need to have a back up, we never really needed one, until this year when we do. Each day I am not in my own inbox, the emails back up with no one to answer them because no one knows how to but me.
OK yes I agree it needs to be done and I am willing to do some overtime for this cause because folks need it but I worked for my now second week and if you were going to have me work and not be up front with me then it is now a trust issue. I am reminded by her that they did not make the policy DOL did. I found out the policy is dated 1986 and had not been updated, soooo someone knew they were screwing people over.
So as the tears poured down my face I had to explain to the kids that what was happening. I explained people had left out some important information which might have caused people to not want to help. They asked me if I was still going to help and I said yes because it was not the people filing for unemployment’s fault it is the agency’s fault. I had to do the right thing even though I really did not want to because I had been misled. “Sometimes life isn’t fair but what happened to me is much less unfair than the folks who have no job and no money right now.”
Do my kids get it nope. They don’t understand why there are levels of unfair. They only know that what they thought would happen is not really happening and of course Mom is not always around. So no I will not be volunteering any more weekend time. I will continue to work the hours I promised but in the future, yep I am going to cut back. My family is suffering and I am suffering and yes folks need help but I found out today there are many many folks in our agency not doing any work who could get paid their salary to do this work on their work hours but were not being told they had to.
I know I have to do the right thing. I know I should help because I can. Yes I can play the single parent card but I HATE making excuses for not working. But no I will not be taken advantage of you tell me up front the reality so I can make an informed decision. I am so frustrated right now but yep I will be back on the website uploading data tomorrow because I said I would already.