When you burn bridges

So yesterday M1 sent me a message asking if I can watch Baby S. Now I had told her I was in pain from my knee, had been to a funeral, was stressed at work with the chaos the coronavirus has caused and of course none of it matters. She claims the apartment had no heat and they don’t have the $200 to pay for it. I remind her she has just sold a truck for $5000. She was going to put cash down for the new car that they would not give her a lease for and so take that money and use it for the payment. A long explanation of how the dealer had kept her money overnight sooo they didn’t have it. Nope not buying it, I mean seriously I am in pain, N is off her meds and M2 is just plain crabby so no just no.

Today she messages me again at 3:25 can I take the baby because she has to go to the ER again. I ask why and she says she has a pulmonary embolism. OK no she does not let me clarify, this is all bull and last week she pulled the same crap, had me watch the baby and then suddenly signed herself out and was done. So I said no I was busy and no I did not have time tomorrow. I had some other things going on and so she would have to make other arrangements. She tells me no one will help her and “that if I don’t get this looked at in the next 24 hours I will have to be in the hospital for weeks”

I remind her boytoy can take the baby to the apartment and call some of his friends, she can leave messages for other of her friends and that boytoy can come in and out to spend some time with her so she was not completely alone all the time. I reminded her I knew that it was not what she wanted but that A and I had our own issues to address and cannot take on any more responsibilities for watching the baby. She got pissed, got rude and basically told me (and A) that we wanted her to die. Um no you can go and your husband can watch your baby while you get the help you need. Silence for three glorious hours, then she messages me and says “oh the clot didn’t travel” Yes I know, but whatever not getting into it.

Now I know she is mad at me because neither A or I did what she wanted. I am sure I am callous sounding but she has used this excuse three times and signed herself out three times. If you are having a medical issue then you need to get the help you need NOT keep signing in and out. Unfortunately I am thinking next week the same thing will happen. She will not follow up with her primary as directed and then try to get us all caught up again so she can have some alone time with boytoy and not have the baby. I can’t do it anymore.

If she treated other people better then more folks would help her. But she has burned so many bridges no one wants to help her even for a few moments never mind all day or overnight. Even A and myself are frustrated to the point of non action with her. Yes we HATE leaving baby S in the middle but she has to grow up. In the mean time I encourage her to try to talk to her friends but I am fairly sure no one will be more available to her and no I don’t blame them. It kills me to have to set boundaries that keep the baby out of my house but even I have limits.

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