Meeting Blues

Yesterday I had a meeting that made me sad. I am guessing as a parent of a child with significant disabilities it is understandable that meetings which involve the topic of high school graduation are tough. The meeting was sponsored by the district to guide those of us with special needs children as to the requirements for NYS. It is a good idea for someone like me who never went to high school in NY to learn the requirements and what will happen to my child.

A majority of the talk was about the Regents. It talked about them only having to pass one Regents exam instead of the regular 5 other students have to pass. Well that was fine and good, except that M2 will never take a Regents exam. She has never been assessed by statewide exams because she is considered “significantly disabled to the point her disabilities impact her ability to successfully take and or pass regular exams.”

I am not arguing, please I know the truth. It hurts at times like this though because while the other families are talking about automotive and career courses for their child, I am left in the dust as my kid will have to learn life skills. It is appropriate I do understand but when you are the only parent in this category and a majority of the talk is not about something your child will ever be able to do, well it makes me really sad. Let’s face it I have two kids in this situation, neither will get a real diploma.

But I love my kids to pieces and I try hard not to compare them to others. I am happy with what they have achieved and know that I did play a part in that overall. Its just sometimes the grief from the loss I struggle with in general. The knowing and accepting are one thing, the emotions, well I still have not worked them out. But I know I am not alone. I know other parents in my kids class will be having the same “life skills” discussion with the school psychologist that I had yesterday. But yesterday sitting alone with the other parents of differently achieving children, it was sad and I did feel alone.

3 thoughts on “Meeting Blues

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  1. hugs from another one of “those moms.” Our oldest has disabilities and she was able to get her diploma, but barely. Getting that diploma was a huge against the odds struggle and we were so proud of her for finally making it. But that whole year, I got asked by about 1000 people “oh, where’s your daughter going to college” when I knew college is way beyond her, and we sat at her graduation hearing about how a huge percent of her classmates had scholarships to 4 year colleges, and yeah, we felt so alone. Like the only people in the world whose kid wasn’t going to college. Even though for her getting that HS diploma was a huge achievement and one we are just as proud of as all the other parents are of those scholarships.

    It’s hard when the world doesn’t recognize our kids’ achievements as achievements.

  2. Even though Hope did graduate and did go to college, I feel this post deeply. I don’t know what the future holds for her and that’s scary and triggers a lot of emotions. Sending you hugs from afar.

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