Have you ever thought “Please let me be wrong”? Well that is truly how I felt when I found out boytoy was joining the Navy and going to basic training. My head knew he could not make it through but deep down I did want him to succeed. Unfortunately, yesterday the call came and he is being separated from the Navy. He was unable to meet the minimum physical standards after several tests.
The heartbreak in his voice as I listened to the message was clear. The despair and discouragement was immense. It hurt to hear him so upset. When I had to explain it to M1, it pained me to hear her entire world and life plan come crushing down. In some ways I feel I let her down not preparing her for this, but I do understand she would not have listened. I dropped numerous pieces of advise along the way and they did not respond so there truly was nothing I could do about what I was pretty sure would happen.
They have no plan or way to pay their rent this month, they were relying on his BHA which he wasn’t going to get anyway. They were relying on his salary but now there is only 2 weeks work and no it won’t be enough. They don’t have health insurance because M1 was positive that they would have TriCare, despite me telling her no not until he graduates. Their car is uninsured and M1s license is revoked (yes she is still driving). They owe over $2000 in medical bills and $500 back pay for old insurance. God only knows what the food situation in the house is but yikes that might be rough as well.
M1 in her “dealing” decided she was going to get her diploma or GED. She was going to join the Navy because “She could pass the standards easily”. OK no you could not. You have no patience for people in your face. You have no drive and desire to push yourself. You have no team mentality. I am sorry my dear the military is not something you could do. Sure she could pass the physical fitness part of it but there is a lot more to it than that. No I didn’t say any of that, she will eventually burn out herself as the lack of drive is prevalent in her life. Its sad but it is what it is.
So now I am trying to figure out the best way to help them through this mess. I told her I was not under any circumstance taking Baby S for any length of time and would help them find some resources. Their rent it turns out is even more than my mortgage. Not sure I can help you much there though as WOW I would not pay that much. I can pick up some groceries but you are going to have to go and get more state benefits until you are back to where you were. Also you might want to consider full time employment.
The “good” news is that I don’t have to worry about going to court for Baby K any time soon. They are not in a position to provide for her and although I am already providing some things for Baby S, they are not financially stable in any shape. It hurts to see them struggle but I refuse to save them from all of it. M1 would be the first one to tell anyone that she has help from no one despite all efforts of the people around her. I do feel for them though and even though they make me super frustrated it is hard to see boytoy fail so significantly.