Who is to blame?

I have had the baby since Thursday and I was exhausted to my core. I did not want to have to care for another baby. I am too old, too tired and frankly too angry. I have snapped at my kids and spent a ton of time crying in frustration. Additionally on Friday, M1 sent a series of nasty messages to me basically blaming me for her situation. I was killing her by not telling CPS she was mentally stable and able to care for two kids. She was going to fight me and the lies that I was telling. Umm ok I did not write that stuff up, the worker did and the doctor looking at Baby K did so relax kiddo it was not me. OMG so freaking angry…..breathe, breathe

Today I got a call from CPS and they asked what happened over the weekend. I relayed they tried to stalk me in public to no avail. I mentioned she lied to her friend saying that I was going to drop the baby off today. CPS was irate, that was never the plan and were was the baby. I assured them the baby was with me and in no one else’s hands. The baby then started to cry thankfully so they knew she was in fact in my custody. A few hours later they called me and said that I was to bring the baby to a woman named A when I went to work. We are to share the responsibility of caring for Baby S for the week. I reminded them I was not to be a long term solution. They said it was short term so the kids can do what they need to do. They said if it goes long term then A will be the long term solution.

M1 was irate and sent another nasty message. Now she is not talking to me or A so we are not sure what is going to happen. CPS was very firm that either A or myself was responsible for baby S and if either of us left her unsupervised with the parents we would face charges. Fantastic, more messes for me to live with. I know its wrong but come on this is baby 2 and I already said time and time again I can’t do this, it takes too much out of me. I want to be petty, she never tries for me so why should I try to balance everything for her. Yes I know its because a small defenseless human life is in the balance. Yes I am going to do what I can but regrettably I have to take care of myself as well.

A and I talked and worked things out for the week. She is aware of how manipulative that M1 is and did not have an issues setting boundaries with either her or boytoy. M2 cried on the way home after drop off and I get it. Unfortunately I am too angry and disappointed to cry. I am tired of fixing situations she creates. I am sick of nasty grams and I am sick to death of dealing with CPS.

4 thoughts on “Who is to blame?

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  1. you aren’t to blame. M1 is responsible for her choices and actions. You did your very best to raise her to do better than this and sadly she is choosing otherwise. Also, you are not responsible for making this ok for her. It is ok for you to set your boundaries on how much you can help. If all you can do is this week that’s fine. You aren’t letting M1 OR the baby down by saying that. You did not make this mess and it’s not yours to fix.

    Honestly, it sounds like she is going down a road of have a baby, have it taken away, have another have it taken away, repeat, and blame mom for all of it. She could have a lot of babies and you can’t take care of every one of them. There is only one of you. Please take care of yourself and don’t feel guilty for it.

  2. Oh my! Of course you need to take care of yourself. I can’t believe how CPS treats those who are stepping in to help. Threatening you is ridiculous. I’m so sorry. This is not your mess to clean up. This is, unfortunately, M1’s mess. If only she would see that…

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