Finally Home

Vacation was supposed to last till tomorrow but I couldn’t make it anymore. I was beyond exhausted and so frustrated that I was clearly not having any more fun and I am sure the girls picked up on it.

Baby K barely slept from Friday to Wed. She was up screaming and crying. When I tried to hold her she swung hard, bit me and scratched the crud out of me. I tried everything, bottles, bananas, walking, singing, car rides, stroller rides….nothing was working. Finally each night out of I am sure pure exhaustion she would sleep from 11pm til 2am then she was up yelling again. I wanted to cry just bawl it was no fun but for a few days I sucked it up but finally I broke.

We did have fun at the Grevin Museum on Saturday. Baby K had been vomiting muscus for a part of the night and was fairly subdued as long as I had her in my arms or was pushing her stroller. The girls enjoyed the different figures some of which we did not know. I wrote about the indoor maze on Sunday and that experience already….yikes. On Monday swimming was pretty fun as well and Baby K seemed to be relaxing a bit so I thought we were in the clear. Yeah I was wrong.

Monday night I asked the girls what they wanted to do the next day. N replied she did not want to do anything just sit in her room and watch videos on YouTube. M2 said she didn’t care she just wanted to go out. I reminded N one of the reasons we were here in Montreal was because she was French Canadian and she had said she wanted to learn some things. She shrugged and said she didn’t really want to do anything as it was “too hard” to figure things out. I asked her for examples and she said “Well everything is written in French.” I reminded her that I had been translating most of it for both of them and said if she had specific questions I would be happy to translate for her and she shrugged. Later that night M1 texted me, again she was getting evicted she said. She asked if she could come live with us again. No, hell no, no. I explained that CPS was down our necks because of the open case with Baby K (they were). I said CPS had asked if anyone over 18 was in the home and I had said no (N is 17). I told her CPS said no one over 18 can move into my home. They did not say that. She said she was going to be homeless by Saturday and I wanted to rescue her but I can’t. I have to let her face the choices she made and it killed me. Completely killed me.

Tuesday both refused to get out of bed. I wanted to scream so I said “Look I am going swimming because I am done with the two of you not participating. We all agreed to a family vacation, we all agreed to Montreal and now you guys are being mean, just plain mean to me. I am tired of it. I am going swimming, come if you want to and if you don’t pray you don’t need help because no one around here speaks English and you all don’t speak French.” Yep I was done done. M2 got up and told me she wanted to come and N refused. I left a note on her door at the top it said “In case of emergency” and the bottom was basically a letter saying, my mom is out and I don’t speak French. I need help can you call her for me?”

I did go swimming with Baby K and M2. We had a pretty good time but Baby K was completely off. She refused to let M2 hold her and threw a fit anytime I put her down. Thankfully she fell asleep so M2 and I walked around Walmart with her car seat in a basket to enjoy some quiet time. She woke up in a better mood and we went to eat. When I came back N was watching movies. I let her finish the one she had started. When it was done she immediately bolted to her room and actively avoided me for the rest of the night. At dinner I told them we were leaving. I told them their choices and behavior were hurtful to me and I was not going to be treated like this. I said if you want to complain and do nothing we can go home where at least I am not angry and can get some things done. Initially they protested but when i gave them specifics on their behaviors and choices both understood that they had messed up pretty badly.

Wed Baby K was up at 5am. OK I was well beyond done. I packed pretty much every blessed thing in the house and stood it by the door. At 9am I woke the girls and told them to get moving. We packed the car and I made each of them sweep a room of the house we stayed at before loading them into the car. They asked for a treat from Tim Horton’s and I said no, you don’t get to ask for a treat when you have been awful to me. We get home and unload the car. Baby K is still clingy but ate like a champ at dinner time. She fell asleep at 9:10pm and i think I went to bed at 9:30.

Thursday I drop Baby K at daycare, I just want quiet and space. I know I am being selfish but yikes I am frustrated. M1 texted and said she needs to get into our garage. I reminded her she is not to put more stuff in there as I did not want to be responsible for it. She asked when I was leaving for work and I told her I was not. I will go to work tomorrow but I will also take the garage keys with me so nothing more gets put in there. Also I will be out in the yard today doing work so nothing more can get carried in without me noticing it. I am not getting either teen up either. I am upset with them and will spend my last day on vacation getting things done that I need done. If they want to help great if not, oh well not going to listen to their demands either.

Sooo next time we do Montreal it will be a bit different and probably for a shorter amount of time.

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