Not Adding Up

After my last blog, M2 and N and I went to Disney for a week. I wanted to take Baby K but I could not swing it. I needed a break and having a 5 month old baby is not exactly a break. I let CPS know that I will be gone and after having sent them screen shots showing that M1 and boytoy have dropped her before and not gotten her care, I just needed space. Yes it broke my heart to leave my baby but we had to get away the stress in our house was so bad both girls were acting up at home and in school.

The vacation was wonderful. We had a lot of fun and did a bunch of things that we normally do (Magic Kingdom) and some things we had not done like just hang out at a pool. The house we stayed at was wonderful and we all had our own rooms so we could get space as we needed it. Unfortunately, day two of the vacation I found a tick lodged in my leg. Yes at Epcot there is an Aid Station. Yep we pulled the bad boy out and assumed it was all over at that point. Minor kid issues but overall an excellent trip and I was glad we did it.

When we get home it starts again. Again the baby is dropped and help not given. Again I have to send screen shots to CPS to show them I was not lying or making crap up. I demanded M1 and boytoy show up with the baby and they complied. I checked her over top to bottom and while she was distant to me at first eventually, she warmed up and became the happy baby I am so in love with. I try to talk to CPS and they do not return my calls at first. They do not talk to me at all and the worry grows. Finally after two weeks they call and basically tell me there is nothing they can do. They don’t want to take a child from their parents even though there are grounds for negligence, since the baby has not been hurt, well basically nothing will really happen. They ask for proof on the last time she was dropped and did not get care and then it was over.

Now I don’t know if she will be charged with neglect or not though I am sure she should be, but its CPS who really knows. I take the baby at regular intervals so that I can keep close tabs on her and provide her some sense of comfort. She has changed at this point and when she sees me she gets excited and starts flapping her hands. When I pick her up she snuggles close for several minutes before slowly warming into her happy baby self. My heart is broken but I can’t do much more, there is no way I can get her out of their care and walk the fine line between addressing their issues and having M1 be spiteful and pulling baby K out of my life. Yes she is that spiteful.

Last week they told me they were running out of money. Yep not doubt but don’t look to me for finances as I am raising my other kids. Boytoy said he is going to join the Marines and allegedly M1 supports the plan. Don’t get me wrong I think it would do him wonders, but I was military and he is NOT Marine material. He might be Army or Navy material but NOT Marine material. He was told by the recruiter he has to lose 40 pounds and boytoy tells me it will be simple to do in six weeks or so. I say nothing, I don’t want to discourage him but I can’t believe that any of this will happen either.

The good news is that they are for fact getting married on 6/22/19. Now normally I would not support such a dysfunctional relationship but in this case I am. Once they are married J and I are off the hook to financially support them and their poor choices. They are getting married at my church and this was confirmed by my interim rector. I am paying for the clean up crew to take care of the gym after the reception. Happy freedom day for me and yes I know that is wrong to feel that way, oh well.

Meanwhile, N has decided that she too is moving out of the house next February when she turns 18. She told me she is moving in with her boyfriend and there is nothing I can do to stop her. She is going to go to school and work part time. She is going to have 10 kids and I can’t stop her. Now mind you she can’t get herself out of bed everyday. She needs reminders to shower and brush her teeth every single day. She refuses to clean her room and leaves a mess wherever she goes. Yeah pretty sure her big move isn’t going to happen but whatever it will unfold slowly and I won’t engage so that way she doesn’t hate me entirely. I put out some numbers for her so she knows financially what to prepare for and it was a burst of reality for her without me actually laughing at her.

As for M2, well life is actually pretty good for her. She has a best friend who comes over almost every single day and they go off riding bikes and watching YouTube. Minor issues that C’s mom and I hash out like boundaries when bike riding and what is a snack versus a meal. It is the usual teen type stuff and as annoying as it is, I am thrilled to be having to deal with normal teen issues. It is also good for both of them as they had been staying home alone and neither was happy about it.

So life is still moving along here with its terrible downs and momentary good pieces. It hurts to love someone knowing they are hurting another but what choice do I have they are all my kids

One thought on “Not Adding Up

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  1. Sounds like Disney was just what was needed.
    So awesome that M2 has a best friend.
    Seems so wrong that nothing is done by CPS. At least you are still in baby’s life.
    Hoping life gets better for all x

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