Two Weeks In

So today marks the two week anniversary that M1, boytoy and Baby K moved in with me. Oh boy what a time it has been. No not all bad but so very chaotic it will take me a bit to get used to this new norm in the house.

M2 has had the hardest go of it all. I am not sure if she is processing it all that well or if it really is that hard on her. She has gotten into three fights with M1 so far and one of them was today at church…ummm yeah not a good idea to flip people the bird when people in church are watching. Fortunately she got a talking to from someone else not me so I was spared a lecture. Don’t get me wrong she loves Baby K but she gets fed up with her sister and believe me I know why yikes….

N has been doing all right. She follows M1 around like a puppy and does whatever she wants her to do. I have had to pull her aside a couple times and tell her to stop because M1 was just using her and she deserved better. She does like the baby but for some unknown reason the baby does not like her. She fusses something awful whenever N holds her and I do feel bad but we will work on it and find ways N can help that don’t include her holding the baby.

Me, well I am on more meds because it is a mixed blessing at best. I will focus on the positive and remember that it means I will not worry about her safety or how Baby K is doing. They have helped a bit around the house and although they take no initiative, they do take direction so I will learn to work with it. The paralyzing depression comes in when I see how one child has controlled my life for so long and then when I thought it was over it in fact was not so that is a huge loss for me. I also stress about 6 of us living on my single salary. I have told them they need to work and they are getting some government assistance but they spend money as fast as they get it so again work in progress. Work in progress, I can handle it.

But on a positive note, two weeks in and only two minor temper flairs. Both times, M1 kept her stuff together and the one huge temper flair was not with the girls so oh well. CPS will be making regular visits and forcing M1 to get mental health help which is all good. Healthy Families will make sure they have basics and chip in if needed so financially we should be all right. I feel mixed about this but know in my heart it will work for now. Counting my blessings not my struggles…..

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