A Maturing N

I am not sure how people feel about divine intervention but I for one am a believer in it. No I will not get all preachy on you but here was one instance this week that let me know somebody upstairs was looking out for me.

I went to see my kids nurse practitioner about doing the testing for N to get her qualified for Persons With Developmental Disabilities services. The NP does the testing and she had done it for M2 previously so I knew that N would get along with her and do all right with the testing required. I knew that the NP would push her but not so far that she shut down so to me this was a great day already.

We go to the room to discuss all things related to N. The NP asked a crap load of questions which I found interesting and different then what she did with M2 but then again she has known M2 since she was a year old. At some point the NP turns to me and says “OK so do you want me to manage her medications and be her pediatrician?” I was confused and asked her to clarify. She said “Well didn’t you come today for medication management?” Umm no OPWDD testing was my reply. The NP laughed and said well I wonder why I came in here thinking this was about medication management. I shook my head and said “Divine intervention.”

The last meeting that N had with her counselor was a manipulation by N to talk about what she wanted to talk about instead of the very real issue that she had attacked me again. When I tried to talk to the counselor about what we needed to pay a bit more attention to she told N to get a prize out of the prize box for talking today. OK I just told you she attacked me and left a bruise on my arm why is she getting a prize. When I suggested that she was not connecting with N in a meaningful way her comment was that (1) I was to blame for that and (2) I had no options because if I didn’t see her than the agency and Dr would not prescribe her meds. It was a magically horrid mess.

I told the NP that I did want to change and then the NP started to ask N some questions. N opened right up and told her things I had no idea about: her sadness is an 8 out of 10, she is pissed at her birth family, she doesn’t like being so tired she can’t move all the time and so much more. I was floored she had not made this much progress in almost two years with the counselor and this was a one hour meeting!!!!! I asked N what she wanted to do see the old counselor or continue with the NP’s group and she immediately said the NP’s group!!! I asked her why she had not mentioned any of these feelings to the other counselor or to the doctor and she simply replied “Well I don’t think they actually care about me and I know they don’t listen to you.”

We went out to the car and N said to me “You know Mom you are right talking about feeling helps.” I said “Oh how so?” and she replied “I said a lot of things in there and now I am not so upset so that is good right?” I assured her it was.

Finally my kiddo is starting to mature.

2 thoughts on “A Maturing N

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  1. That’s amazing! Good for her and good for you. I love how N can take your side against docs who never listened to you. I’m sorry about the attack and I would agree maybe no lollipop for that. However, maybe this therapist uses a TBRI model?
    I do hate how the prescribing doctor and therapists hold you hostage like that. I’m a sense the therapists don’t have to be good at all or even try. They still get paid! I’m thinking you should gift her a Deborah D. Gray book about adoption and trauma. It might help her to stop blaming you!! Best of luck

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