Thankfully 18

Last Tuesday M1 finally turned 18 and a wave of relief came over me. No longer am I responsible for her poor choices, her refusal to accept any responsibility or any of her illegal activities.  It was a bittersweet day to be honest because parts of me hate feeling this way, the rest of me however does not.

The weekend before her birthday we went to Buffalo to see my sister and her family who were visiting in-laws. They are a really nice crew and we have a lot of fun with them. We drove out on Friday so I could have a day not driving after all it is 5 hours and I get bored to tears with the drive. We stayed at a hotel and the rooms were a good size. The hotel also had a pool so life was good for us. We planned to see Niagara Falls as N has never been.

Almost the entire time M1 was on the phone with her friends. She barely spoke to us except to tell us what she wanted food wise from the cooler of packed treats. When asked questions she would answer in mono syllables and it was irritating to say the least. It got worse though as we were subject to two nights of phone s### with her and boytoy. Yep you read that right. She took her phone into the bathroom of the hotel room and while we were in ear shot decided to get things on over the phone with boytoy. I told her the first time that we heard her and for two nights she could control herself, the second time it started I opened the door on her and killed the moment. Nope not sorry.

We did the Maid of the Mist tour and swam in Lake Erie. Well all right M1 did not go swimming she was too busy texting friends. She in fact barely spoke to us at all but graciously my sister decided to open up and let her have it. M1 put the phone away for about 10 minutes but then when right back to ignoring us again. It was soo frustrating and aggravating.

She was supposed to stay until Tuesday but it was clear she wanted nothing to do with us. I dropped her off at boytoys house on Sunday night more upset that I had wasted time and money on the Maid of the Mist tour with her. I realized how little we mattered to her and knew in my heart she was only staying with us to get presents on her birthday. Now no I was not a jerk though I wanted to be and I did get her two gifts. They were not over the top though because clearly we meant almost nothing to her.

On her birthday she came over again under the guise of spending time with M2. She told M2 to go take a shower and then took off with boytoy to get ice cream. When they returned they did not get M2 any and despite promises to take her places they simply sat down and watched TV. They stayed until I came home and wildly hinted that they wanted us to take them out to dinner. Fine whatever and we went to dinner. She again did not speak much to us only boytoy and boytoy kept talking about his life of crime. Really this is what you want to date and have kids with…..really?????

The next day I went to work and took her off all my insurances. She still has Medicaid no worries but I am done carrying a child who refuses to follow doctors orders. Refuses to take good care of herself despite the fact she is pregnant and refuse to pay for someone who clearly demonstrates her priorities are not with us. I know I will continue to hear from her from time to time as she needs information but assume she won’t be around till she needs stuff in October for the baby. Yes of course I will help with baby basics but otherwise she won’t reappear I am quite sure until Christmas to get her Christmas presents.

What a bittersweet time this has been.

One thought on “Thankfully 18

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  1. I’ve been thinking of you lately and wondering if that day had come yet. At least now you’re not held hostage to her whims of when she wants to move in and out – you control the door to your home again. Hugs to you on your bittersweet milestone day.

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