Up-ending us again

M1 sat on my couch looking dejected. She told me that she broke up with predator and is back with boytoy. She arrived however in predators truck with boytoy….yah I can’t make heads or tails of it myself so I just work at keeping my big old mouth shut.

She told me she wanted to come home because she wants to be in a place that is less stressful and more healthy. She claims that boytoy and his mom go at it “a thousand times worse then we ever did and like every day.” She claims boytoy was continuously hitting things, throwing things and being foolish. She wants away from it all. I said not much as I know that if I answer sarcastically it will shut her down and I can’t afford that right now. I told her I loved her and cared for her but gently asked if she remembered what she was like before she left.

We talked briefly about the past and her behavior. She claims she knows she has to change. Yep she knows a ton of crap but whether she does it or not stands to reason. I told her again I loved her and that I had no immediate objections to her returning but that we could not do what we were doing before. She claims she knew that it had to be different and she wants to try. I want to try to, but trying doesn’t mean it will happen and hope is not a method.

I have to let her back if she wants to come back home. I can’t tell her no because if I don’t then it is child neglect and I can be charged. I don’t want her back I don’t but if she is really miserable then I have a tough time letting her stay there. It could all be lies though who the heck knows. But if she is pregnant then I should keep closer tabs on her for the unborn child’s sake. I can’t criticize her plans even though I know they won’t work because then she will stop talking to me. Obviously if it is dangerous I will say something but stupid….well I have to let it play out.

She claims she is coming back next week. I am not going to hold my breath though, I have heard this before. Fortunately I already asked the Deacon if we can talk and I have a counseling appointment next week as well. I need to find a way to manage my emotions around the hot mess which is my child.

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