We were graced yesterday by M1, boytoy and predator…sigh, yes I invited them over. Apparently boytoy left a sweatshirt in the hamper here and he wanted it so they came over. I did invite them to have dinner and after M1 told me there is “no healthy food in this (meaning boytoy’s) house” I was happy to make a good meal for multiple people. Yes I do like to cook.
M1 looked like crap and I did my best to keep my mouth shut. She tried to hem and haw about what she was shopping for and finally I let her know I had told my BFF that she was pregnant so just talk. They went on about the clothes they were buying and the diapers and I just kept putting fruit salad into my mouth to not say something rude. Then they started joking about starving a fish they tried to raise and laughing that they could not remember to do it. I cringed inside because how is this going to equate to being able to care for a very needy baby. Yes I know it is different but a fish is alive and it pained me to think it was starving to death.
She barely spoke to me and talked almost exclusively with M2 and N. There was a minor issue that N caused and yes she caused it. They stayed for about 3 hours and did not say much to me, any of them. At 9pm I told them the girls had to get ready for bed as it was a school night, they finally left around 9:15. Boytoy never bothered to say a word, he had gotten mad yet again and stomped off to the truck. Predator said thank you which I appreciated as did M1. I sent M1 off with three pairs of pants, two meals of healthy food, perfumed soap and Irish Soda Bread.
I get a message about 11pm from M1 “I want to move back in”. Ummm no you don’t but you suddenly realized your make believe plan for raising the child is not going to work. You are going to come back to live rent free, meal free etc all while not working or pretending you can’t get work. I then am stuck with you because kicking you out 2 months before you are due because you are 18 seems heartless. Well news flash I don’t want a screaming baby in my home!!!!! OK OK I know breathe, calm down get a grip. I feel so freaking used I am not sure what to do.
So yes I talked to my mother, why because I am headstrong and know it so sometimes my mother can help me see things from a different angle. I told her I feel used, and am angry at her for doing this to me and that I felt like a piece of crap for saying this about my child but…..its true and I feel this way so what do you think my options are?
My Mom rightly pointed out I can mold her better under my control. She pointed out I had options still such as PINS and that yes it did appear heartless but if she did not keep up her end I could kick her out at 18. She reminded me the baby would be the victim and given the “family history” of mental illness maybe something might happen to M1 like a post partum depression and if she can’t raise the baby at least I could be there to get her the help she (M1) needs. She thinks it might be a wake up call to M2 and N as well as to the reality of how hard it is to be a single Mom when you are a teenager. Well guess what it is a really freaking super hard job to parent the child about to become a mother too!!!
I don’t have counseling for two weeks and boy o freaking boy do I need it. Mom did also mention she thought I could get a restraining order instead of a stay away order against predator in case she thought having over the house was a viable plan when I am at work. She also suggested mandating volunteer work to get her moving.
What is it M2 says when she is uber frustrated “I hate my freaking life……”