Stop the roller coaster please

I am leaving my doctor’s office today and I get a message from M1.

“The cops got called and CPS is coming. They are saying that you kicked me out even though I didn’t say that. They told me you were going to be arrested for kicking me out and take N and M2 away from you.”

WTF..ok seriously WTF

Turns out M1 went to a frenemy’s house and asked if she could live there so she could go to school. The parents said no and apparently decided to try to find M1 a place to live since her abusive mother kicked her out. I asked where they got the story I was abusive and of course she claims innocence. OK you expect me to believe that two grown ups decided to formulate a story about how a random 17 year old is abused all on their own? You mean they  magically know N and M2s names and you have said nothing to this end….As I have said before, I was born at night, not last night.

She comes to my house and I try to talk to her about what the heck is going on so that if the cops did show up I had a clue. Her boytoy was max stressed and she told him to go outside and not do anything stupid. Turns out he likes to speed up and down the roads when pissed and stab random things with his knife. I asked if he was violent with her and she said no he only yells at his mom and is abusive to her. I asked why she did not call the cops to help and she said it wasn’t that bad.

She asked why she could not move home and I pointed out that her behavior was awful, she was extremely manipulative, she lied, she stole and was totally verbally abusive to me and N on an almost daily basis. I pointed out much like boytoy losing his crap on his mom that was a regular occurrence between her and I when she lived here. She started to curse and ream me out as I was stupid and had no idea what was going on. I tried to talk to her about how she did not want to be a family kid she wanted to use me for her address and that was not going to happen. She cursed some more and threw in a few “Well I thought you loved me…..If M2 was doing this you would let her back in….It is your fault I will be labeled a drop out.”

Oh please child I grew up Catholic you think you can guilt me…hah…novice. I remind her she chose AGAINST my wishes to move out. She chose DESPITE me telling her that school would stop happening to go anyway. She begged me to let her do this. I told her there was no revolving door policy. I asked if she really wanted to be in a relationship with someone who was so controlling and out of control at the same time and she said she did. I felt bad when I leveled her with “Look if you want boytoy you get the life that boytoy leads. I am not going to let you bounce back and forth cus things are tough. You have to face it and him and talk about what is going on. He doesn’t want you living here and if you did he would hound you incessantly because he wants to control you.” M1 cursed and swore some more at me for treating her so unfairly and then stormed out the door into the arms of her boytoy.

Gad this parenting thing sucks. I don’t want her to be miserable yet I know for sure if she was at home she would be. I don’t want her tied up with someone emotionally unstable but yet when I advised her months ago to limit contact she refused. The worse part is that I am not sure if she is telling the truth. I don’t know if any of his behavior is actual or if the truth lies somewhere in between. I just don’t know.

One thought on “Stop the roller coaster please

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  1. You’re doing all of the right things. I’m binge-reading these posts in order to catch up. Our oldest left and is back now. When I wrote my latest post I thought about you and M1.

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