Anyone want to tag in????

This week has been hades on wheels, let me explain how the whole thing unfolded.

Tuesday I am making dinner and M1 comes up the stairs, thrusts a cell phone  in my face and tells me “You are wrong I can move out at 17 and here is the proof. I am moving in with my boyfriend and you can’t stop me. You can call the police I don’t care I am going to do it anyway.” I sighed to myself and turned off the burner, we were going to be awhile. I looked at her and said “Few fun facts, majority age in NY is 18, until then I am responsible for every move you make AND it will not be out of my house. Fun fact two, if you leave without my consent then I will have you deemed a runaway and because I know that you are going to his house I will charge them with harboring a runaway which is punishable by law. Soooo I suggest you calm yourself down and we talk civilly about whatever your latest issue is.” Can’t type what she said in reply as she stormed into the barn.

I went out to the barn to find out what now and she raged for a good 4 minutes on what a piece of crap I am, how there is too much chaos in this house and how she is leaving and doesn’t care what I say. I realize we are at a point of impasse, she is so worked up she cannot listen and the chaos in my house is largely M1 related but whatever no point. So I say “Well when you are ready come on in and talk but stop yelling as the neighbors will think you are nuts.” and I walked away. I go inside and sit down to calm myself down and remind myself that cooler heads must prevail.

I sit down on Facebook and message the beau. I ask some questions he tells me their plan is all thought out and to talk to his Mom. I call his Mom and we arrange for her to call me back. When she calls she tells me all about the plan for M1 to move in, live with them go to his school but don’t worry there won’t be any sex. I can pay for the insurance and everything else but she will live with them. Not to worry she will be sure they go to school every day and get good grades. OK WTF am I in the twilight zone, when does a grown woman make a plan for someone else’s kid and not consult the legal guardian. I remind the Mom that M1 is 17 and by law I am responsible and that I DO NOT support the plan in any way shape or form. She tells me to talk to my daughter and work it out. Your kidding right?!?!?! Then she asked me if I could please send her son home earlier than 1 in the morning because he was not getting up. I told her that he was not at my house with my knowledge and she got embarassed. She told me not to say anything she thought I knew and she was sorry. Ummmm no.

M1 comes in and I try to explain the foolishness of her plan. Her instability in relationships, her emotional immaturity, her need to finish school and the other valid points that are the main reasons she should not leave home. All she heard was that I pay insurance costs. I advised her the boyfriend was not to come over anymore without my  knowledge AND consent or I will have him arrested for trespassing. She went between calm and raging lunatic for a good 30 minutes at which time I announced I was tired and needed to go to sleep. She begged and begged and I told her I am going to bed.

Next morning she starts right away and I walk out to work. She skips school and spends the morning messaging the boyfriend, his mom, DSS, CPS and some of her birth family. The boyfriend messages me many times till I tell him to knock it off I am at work. M1 then starts and I tell her to wait till I come home. The last message she sends is she is going to her boyfriends house, I say no and she does not acknowledge. I text the Mom let her know what is going on and how I forbid her to leave and the Mom says “Oh I know she is coming over we will work it out.”

She avoids me all night and into the next day. Well I am on to her, she is avoiding me because she is going to sneak off tonight. I go downstairs and tell her I was well aware of her plan to leave tonight. She flies into a rage and demands that I tell her who told her, I said, “Your behavior did.” M1 starts raging that she has already hotlined me, told them I abuse the girls and leave marks all over them, that she is regularly attacked and fears for her safety. The alleged CPS worker told her she could leave and no one would bring her back.  I did my best to control my rage and merely said “Go upstairs and face your sisters and tell them of your plan. Oh and if boytoy wants to pick you up he can come to the door like a gentleman NOT a common criminal.”

She comes upstairs and tells the girls and M2 bawls her eyes out. I remind them both that M1’s plan was to sneak out like a criminal and not even tell you guys that she was going to leave. Both girls are pissed and M2 says “Why are you choosing him over us?” I laugh and say “Because she is having sex that is why.” She denied it then N went to get the negative pregnancy test the M1 had her keep in her room since I search M1’s room regularly. Yes it was negative but yes you are busted.

Boytoy walks through the door and I let him know that when he gets M1 pregnant he will be responsible for paying child support I will make damn sure of that. I reminded him that I had an extremely low opinion of him as he sneaks into my house like a criminal, makes plans with my dependant daughter without my knowledge and defiled her in my house. He just looks at the floor. As M2 bawls her eyes out I say to him “See what you are doing to this family all for some head?” He excused himself and went outside, yes I was rude and crude, don’t care I know what is going on. Oh and before anyone asks at 17 you can legally consent to sex in NY, so no I have no grounds for statutory or I would have done that as well.

Eventually she leaves and M2 spent the night bawling. I just consoled her. N was upset but visibly relieved, it turns out that M1 has been threatening N with violence regularly for not keeping her secrets. Apparently the babysitter I just fired was due to bring her alcohol and cigarettes as well so I am glad she is gone. I did let the birth family know and what was going on. I figure if she tries to turn them against me I should arm them first.

I sit and wait to see if protective services shows up. I mean it has been two days since she made the call so I am not sure if they are going to take it or if they dismissed it already. Will I let her back, who knows. She was making us pretty dang miserable these last few months so I am not really for it right now. Combine that with the fact she lied to CPS and to the boytoy’s Mom about her homelife, well fine if it sucks that bad don’t ever come home again.

3 thoughts on “Anyone want to tag in????

Add yours

  1. how long do you think it will be before boyfriend’s mom finds out that M1 is playing her and that you aren’t just a cold, mean mom who didn’t understand her? Some people just need to find out the hard way.

    I imagine right now you’re feeling a mix of sadness and relief. I hope you remember that you did all that you could and are a great mom.

  2. Thanks Beth, yes my friends and I have a time line going to see how long it is her cover is blown. I know she is just trying to get pregnant to keep the boytoy and that makes me super sad. Thank you for your kinds words, I do appreciate it.

  3. Omg, I had a sense that things would come to a boil soon. I’m sorry you are all going through this. She’s not thinking clearly and clearly has so many issues. Poor girl. I Am just praying for peace for all of you.

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