Two months ago M1 had an allergic reaction to the antidepressant she was on. She came off it and became a train wreck of emotions. She was fine one minute, cursing screaming the next. No one knew what would set her off and when asked she would tell us that she was perfectly fine. All I could think was “Well if by F.I.N.E. you mean f**** insecure neurotic and emotional then yes you are fine.”
I tried to talk to her about meds, maybe therapy and sure enough it was like talking to the dog. Well no it wasn’t at least the dog wags his tail every now and again. Anyway I tried several weeks to get her to try to figure out what was causing her violent mood swings, her complete lack of patience and her unwillingness to get out of bed. She fought me every step of the way. OK I am done….you choose to be miserable then guess what you can spend most of your time in your room.
So two weeks ago she asked if she can go back on medications. I explained that drugs don’t solve all the issues she has created. Drugs WITH therapy are the best way to go to discuss what is really going on so you can learn from it. Well she was an adamant no on the therapy, she talks to her friends that was good enough. Really cus your friends are no better off then you. So she made an appointment and I cautioned her that the NP might say to her she has to be in counseling to get medication. After much screaming at me about “Fine then I won’t go back on it” (like it was my idea anyway) she agreed to at least her the NP out.
We see the NP and I send M1 in by herself. This is her choice, she is 17 and I am not that far away should anything really need to be discussed. About two minutes later the NP comes out and calls me in. She asks if M1 should be on medication I explain it is a choice she can make for herself. The NP swears up and down that the meds she was on did not cause the allergic reaction so there was some error why didn’t we call and I corrected her and said that I had in fact told M1 several times to call and she refused. I am not getting roped into this one.
I ask the NP if she is aware that M1 is no longer in therapy and she tells me that M1 did not mention it. Am I surprised nope but thought it should be said anyway. She asks if we want to start family therapy at their clinic and I adamantly refused. I explained I spent six and a half years in family therapy with M1 to work on our relationship and that it was clear from her refusal to participate that M1 at this time does not want our relationship to be different. I explained I would support individual therapy but that the days of family therapy for her and I were done. The NP was not really happy with this answer but this is the same one who blames me for not doing enough and letting M1 fail all her courses soooooo your opinion of me is irrelevant.
The NP agreed to try her on medications again but did encourage her to go back to individual therapy to deal with today issues not the past. M1 said she would but I get the feeling she lied point blank, oh well not my issue. The NP said maybe she can do meds without counseling and all I said was “Well whatever follows your protocol” because I am not getting involved.
Does my child benefit from medications, yes for sure. However at 17 I am done fighting every blessed day with her to do what she should do only to have her dragged away by peers. She wants the medication and is willing to take it great, I am sure we all will benefit, she starts to tantrum again about the fact I suggested it, well I might tantrum back.