Today I had the chance to reconnect with a male friend who I use to date many years ago. We have a long history which includes some dark parts and some sunshine and roses parts. Truth be told, except that he hurt me badly the first time I would probably date him again. I love spending time with him and we have a lot of fun together.
But for today we are friends. We went to lunch today as sort of a spur of the moment thing. Now I am by no means spontaneous, in fact if it is not planned the chances of me doing it are pretty much non-existent. But when PC emails me and asks me out for lunch the next day, well all right I still love him so yes of course I will reorganize the universe to make it happen. Today was that day and the lunch was amazing.
Since I am working and he is retired, I picked the restaurant to eat at, close to work and good food is required. We dated for a year and have known eachother for almost 15 so we also happen to know each others favorite foods. I picked a busy but interesting place that has a ton of home cooked items that are just plain AND just plain good. PC doesn’t do fancy and neither do I. We met and he actually hugged me this time, I was soo excited of course I hugged him back and then we went to sit down.
We had a wonderful time talking about family, trips and of course some military (that is how we met). I laughed so much my sides hurt and I am sure he did as well. He kept asking me if I knew why he did this last minute. I know next week is a bunch of army things so I assumed it would be a bad week. He looked like a kid in the candy shop and he kept grinning saying “nope” any time I would guess. Finally I gave up and he burst out laughing and said “ANYM your birthday is one week from today and I know that no one takes you out so I wanted to. Happy early birthday to you!!!”
Yeah I melted, see that is why I love him, he really is super thoughtful. I blushed a few shades red and he laughed even more, he knows he got me and he was quite pleased with himself. He asked me if we could make a deal, my teenage side was like “sure I would walk to the ends of the earth for you” but my practical, remember he cheated on you and dumped you side was like “hmmmm maybe?” He said “I want to keep meeting with you sometimes for lunch so if we don’t get together again before the holidays, can you promise me we will go out for my birthday (Feb)?” We agreed and then had to go our separate ways as lunch break for me was over.
It was so incredibly good to see him and to have the chance to talk to him about everything and nothing in particular. For those few moments I was transported back in time before kids, when we were just friends hanging out before it got ugly. It made me sad too just a bit that it was over for us on one level. As much as I do care for him, how the demise of our relationship unfolded still hurts and puts a serious damper on my willingness to “try it again”. I also don’t think he is wanting to try it again. So I settle for having him in my life, caring about me as a person but NOT being my boyfriend.
The girls of course are miffed. They have seen PC and can’t see what I see in him. They see an “old middle aged man” and I see an amazingly intelligent, sensitive and caring middle aged man. To them looks attract not brains, but to me, packaging is not important its the contents that count. They vacillate between wanting me to hook back up with him and the “nasty” idea that “Mom” finds intelligence sexy. I mean come on “Moms don’t find anything sexy” remember we lose all those drives after having children LOL.
So a really good day with a really good friend. Very happy we had time together and that both of us want to make more opportunities to have lunch.