BBQ with M1 and M2’s Aunts

Tomorrow M1 will be 17. Every year since she has come to me she has pitched a world class tantrum fit around the time of her birthday if we ever tried to have a party. So aside from immediate family only, we have only 1 time had a party. Unfortunately, because of her actions at school and other places she has no real friends to invite over as they don’t want to come.  No M1 does not have any real friends, she has people she hangs with then dump her and pick her up again when she can do things for them. She backstabs most folks and well that makes for no one really hanging with her as a friend for more than 6 months. It makes me profoundly sad, but at this point she refuses to believe I know how to keep friends and she ignores all my suggestions..fine child make your own life difficult.

ANYWAY….her Aunts asked me if we could do a summer get together so I thought, well her family loves her lets have a party with them. Can you believe she pulled her 5 year old stunts again when told?!?!?!?!?! First she pitched a fit and screamed obscenities as me and N because we asked her to help us. Next day she stole the M&Ms my BFF had given me as a congrats on the adoption present. Then she acts vile and nasty refusing to follow even the simplest of instructions. Even this morning when I said last night “Get up in the AM we have to clean the house BEFORE your family gets here.” She refuses to get up before 10am. She then proceeds to yell at me because I forgot to get drinks….umm no kiddo I have been cleaning so I have not had time to go shopping. #wannawringherneck

After taking a 32 minute shower and refusing to move faster, she goes to her room for another 20 minutes. I yell downstairs to get up here and help clean. She mutters she is getting ready. I go back to prep and eventually she comes up the stairs and asks when I am going to get the drinks for everyone. WTF as soon as your behind starts to help out that is when. #holycrapwannascream    Eventually she starts to help and then I can go and get the drinks, really I get a dirty look for this…sigh…#nevergonnacelebrateagain

Aunt E, her husband and stepson arrive. I love E like a little sister because for those that don’t know that was how I met the family. I was E’s community resource before M1 was even born (E was in removed from her Mom’s). We hug and talk, it is good to see her and I can almost forgive the whole M1 being a piece of crap. Aunt L arrives with her four kids and the fun for my kids begins. M2 was shy and I reminded her that her family is gentle (well the ones I have over) and that they only want what’s best for her. L brings up up that their Mom (grandmother to my 2) wanted to have an uncle come over, while I did not respond to the demand as I thought it was crappy to impose something on me uninvited, the sisters agreed they did not want to bring their brother anyway so we all win. The Uncle is not a positive influence and aside from SERIOUS hygiene issues I never really met him so it would be awkward.

L talks to me about her kids, they all have anxiety and are on meds. Yep sounds familiar, M2 has anxiety too. She asks about M1 graduating and I say that she has failed 11th grade entirely so I was not sure that was going to happen.  M1 looked pissed but I don’t care I won’t lie to them and oh yeah they all dropped out of school (I pressured E to get her GED so she is the ONLY HS graduate in the family). We compare stories about kid raising and the issues we both have #gottalovegenetics.

I find out their Mom is doing all right and while L tries to keep her on a healthy diet she has other kids bring her food she should not have. L is struggling because she knows her Mom is slowly killing herself but when she tries to say something, Mom rears up and tells her what a piece of garbage she is. My heart breaks for L, it really does as I can see how torn she is between taking care of her Mother and having to watch her make poor choices. I really just listen as I suspect no one does that for her as she is the second oldest so everyone depends on her (S my kids Mom is oldest but in NV). L has had a tough life herself so I have a great deal of empathy for her and respect the work she has done both with her kids and her family of origin.

I ask about S because lately she has been posting that any second now she is going to die. Yep pure drama it turns out but my kid gets caught up so I want some facts to help her know the real story. Yes she is VERY overweight, L thinks she is probably close to 460 lbs right now and I should mention she is only 5’5″ tall. L thinks she could be as much as 500 pounds at this point. I get frustrated with S because these are choices she is making. She sees the problems her Mom has and decides to not help herself instead try to get everyone to feel bad for her. L also says that S fights regularly with her girlfriend and they treat her poorly but again she chose to go back when her family said DON’T so my empathy for her wanes. Well that and she treats me like crap intermittently so yeah I am done being anything but pleasant.

We talk some more and they ask if they can take the girls bowling. They all love bowling so I say sure. They ask about return times and we set it up. The kids are on cloud nine as they bounce off with their relatives. N stays with me as she is too unpredictable to send really anywhere especially with untrained folks. I tell her she can watch any movie she wants when they are gone and have another soda  #christmascomesearlyforN

Tomorrow, the actual birthday, we will celebrate with my BFF if she can make it or just us. I will post pics of the cake per usual and the pile o’presents. I am excited to give her one of her gifts as they are Jack Skellington boots which I am praying she loves!!!! So until tomorrow then, well all right later on tonight….

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