Sunday rolls around and off to church we go. We help my Mom set up for the buffet afterwards and then headed up to mass. While we were sitting my niece and her Dad came in and sat next to me. She plopped down next to me and put her head on my shoulder….yep melted on the spot. Younger brother and his family come to church, his mother in-law and some family friends. The Baptism is to be held after the service. No middle brother and I can tell my Mom is tense but whateves Godfather and Godmother are here lets get it rolling.
Service ends and everyone shows up. I can see my sister is relieved as is my Mother. The church was blazing hot and I felt bad for my younger brother who was wearing a suit. Baby S was a good boy but was getting hot. He hollered holy hades when the priest put water on his head. When I handed him to my brother for the confirmation part, Baby S wanted no part of the priest or my poor brother. Fortunately, the priest caught on and went a bit faster. In all the photos….whew we all are literally sweating…sooo gross. Service ends and brunch begins. The M2 and N are bickering but nothing too awful. I see a bunch of people and had some all right food.
We head back to Mom and Dad’s for socializing. I see M1 pull out her phone and she begins to message. I remind her human interactions and she puts it away. Whenever I am around her she puts it away, when I leave she pulls it out…I want so bad to smash the darn thing. N and M2 begin to fight in earnest down. I try to talk to N but she is increasingly agitated. When she took the iPad from my 5 year old niece I had to talk to her. She lost her crap. She starts swinging and cursing. I go to calm her down and she escalates, ok no choice I MUST restrain her now she is out of control and ignoring all of my prompts to think and breathe. My sister sees me take her to the floor and panicked. She asked about 4 times “what can I do?” and all 4 times I repeated “just leave if you try anything you could get hurt”
N rages for a good 20 minutes, meanwhile everyone was taken outside to the tent. I am so freaking pissed off right now, WTF. I remain calm and never raise my voice, while it does not calm N down I certainly feel more in control. We get to the root of the issue, she feels like she does not fit in. I point out how she is wrong and how she is doing well and after about 10 more minutes she is calm and in better spirits. I rejoin my family and sit outside. I am shaking as I cannot even imagine the fall out from this. My family does not talk to me at first and basically ignores me. My sister hands me the baby and says “Do your magic” So off I went alone to put the baby to sleep, oh well no one is talking to me so who cares.
My sister in law J started talking to me once Baby S was asleep and we had a pleasant conversation until D, the sister in law I do not enjoy decides to engage me. “Are you even aware your children are on SnapChat?” I assure her I did but that nothing is uploaded without permission, they are just having fun with filters. She goes right to my brother and starts to trash my parenting and lack of supervision of my out of control children. I want to cry and scream. My brother tries to smooth it over and she won’t have it. Finally, her friend chilled her out so that the “vibe was not off.” Whatever I am done. My brothers start to bicker and my sister joins in. I get up and leave and as I go my Mother shouts “Hey this is a repeat of family traditions they fight and you walk away” I burned with rage and of course responded “Well it doesn’t matter if I am here or not, you will blame me for all the crap anyway.” My youngest brother yelled “Don’t forget to slam the door!!” and I just start to cry. I am fricking 48 years old and have not slammed a door since I was 17 let it freaking go already.
I sit inside with tears burning my eyes. I am not sure how long I am away but no one really notices so I let it go. Eventually the party wears down. We say goodbye to my youngest brother who had to drive to Louisiana. We made plans with the older of the two for breakfast the next day. I hug both my niece and nephew as they drive off. My little niece asks if she can sleep with me at the hotel but I tell her no more beds. We go to the hotel and I ream them all out. I am so freaking mad, tired, embarrassed and everything that I don’t even want to continue I want to go home and hide.
Monday we get there and I get an earful from my Mom and sister about the gad awful behavior of my middle child. They were mean and thoughtless remarks designed for what purpose I will never know. I tell them both she is making a lot of improvements and my Mother immediately dismisses me and says “You say that like it matters, this is just awful and crazy so I don’t want to know this is better it is still awful and frightening.” I bite my tongue, ride it out and it will end sooner, engage and it goes on for hours.
We look at activities and I suggest we go swimming at my hotel. As soon as D arrives she poos the idea and says that their plans are such and such so we have to do such and such. Well then after making all the changes she never actually got anything together so we did not spend any time doing anything because D did not get her stuff together in time. I am so freaking angry now I can’t even talk. My sister sees I am pissed and suggested we go for ice cream, knowing I love ice cream. No you know what I don’t want to sit here in a freaking hot house when I could be swimming. No I don’t want ice cream when I could have been having fun until someone decided she is the most important person in the group and the rest of you just bow to her. OMG so angry I could not even speak for about 2 hours.
The mall is at least cool and I can spend time with my niece so all is not lost. We get ice cream and then say good-bye to the remaining brother and D. I don’t want to hug her, I don’t want to touch her, I want to strangle her but right that makes me the difficult one. sigh…..They leave and we go back to the hotel, if I had not had time with my niece I swear I would have been out of there. We go to say good-bye to her and she starts to cry. I remind her we can talk on the phone and her Mom promises we can FaceTime.
OMG if I have to see them sooner than 5 years from now I am not sure I can make it…..