What do iPods, Peanut Butter and Nutella Have in Common????

Short answer- they are all things stolen from me and my friend. Long answer….enjoy….

All right so last night I am pretty sure will cause me to lose points toward Mother of the Year. So I am going to go ahead and take the deduction now in case I lose some more tonight.

Last night M1 tells me N stole her iPod. So I go downstairs and ask N what is going on. She proceeds to tell me that M1 is a liar, she had her pink iPod it is in a safe hiding place and she doesn’t have M1’s iPod. Now this is off, why hide it so I say “OK good you found your iPod because after destroying M1’s last week I am not going to allow you to take anyone but yours to school. Can you  just show it to me quick so I can tell M1 she is a liar?” Well she and I spend the next 20 minutes looking for an iPod which I quickly realize we are not going to find. OK so N is lying but M1 might be too….sigh parenting is complicated.
I go into N’s closet as she is hovering over there. I look inside and sure enough there is a jar of peanut butter and a jar of Nutella which she has taken from upstairs and is now eating with a spoon. Yes I found the spoon too. I ask her about it and she tells me she makes breakfast down here in her room to save her time in the morning. Ummm no you don’t. I let her know I am aware she is lying and that this was not acceptable. She yells and screeches for a bit but I say nothing I mean come on the spoon has both peanut  butter and Nutella on it I know what happened. I continue to look around because hey now I have to find out what other food crap you have down here. I find all her candy wrappers from Easter, she tells me they are M2’s and M1’s. Umm no their candy is in their basket soooooooo…….I look on the shelves and sure enough my portable DVD players are there too…well they don’t work why are they here…ummm no you are not fixing them.
I go toward her bed and she gets super freaking loud. Yelling “get the fu*** out of my room. Get the fu*** out of my space. Get the f** away from me.” Hmm well obviously something is under the bed she doesn’t want me to see or get. She then screams it is her bed time so I say “OK go ahead get in bed I won’t talk to you or make a lot of noise.” She starts screaming at a fervish pitch “get the f** out of my room I am telling the teacher you are violating my space and not respecting my boundaries. He will call the police on you” I choke back a laugh and say quietly to her  “OK couple of things. First you are not in charge so you cannot tell me when and where to go. I own the house, I am grown I will do what I feel is required at the moment. Second this is your room but it is my house. I give you space in this room to live however until you pay rent it is not “your room” it is my room that you live in. Third when you tell Mr K about all this I will explain to him that the reason I was here was because you were stealing. What do you suppose the police would say then? Coming into a room is not a crime stealing is, you might want to think about that.” She continues to scream “get the f*** out” I say nothing and just look at the floor. After about 4 minutes she says “Fine I will go under the bed and get everything out so you can see that there is nothing under there.” As she goes under I hear her fumbling with something, so I go to the end of the bed and move everything away from it. When she comes out she dumps out her purse and says “See it is not in the purse.” I say. OK good I am glad the iPod is not in your purse, hang on just a second though and in one fluid moment I pull the bed all the way off and away from the wall (yep its on wheels)
N shrieks holy hell and scoots backwards on her butt, and I see the iPod. I grab it and say “OK good found it. Now if you please move I will put your bed back and you can go to bed as you said you are tired.” She cursed at me a few more times and moves. I put the bed back and look at the iPod….you ready for this…..M1 took this iPod from my friend about 3 months ago and now she is mad the N had it. I laughed my butt off handed the iPod back to my friend and told M1 she has lost her privileges for the week. N I am not sure what do to with.
Soo no not getting parent of the year but am I wrong that I laughed a lot about this mess?

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