Remember that two years ago I talked about having five kids at the end of the year. I thought it would be the Littles, N and my two. Yeah funny how life plays out AND yet the number 5 still sticks to all my paperwork.
Today another county DSS came to see me at my home. Remember how I mentioned that one of my friend’s grandkids were taken into custody, well guess what my name came up. The workers were doing a walk through my home and giving me information about the real story behind why the kids were removed. I was not really surprised but still it was painful to hear. I mean these kids are real, I babysat their mother. I know how it came to this…uggg…I was part of this mess since the Mom was 17.
I felt like the hill got so steep as I am talking with a worker who clearly did not understand S’s limitations. She has 8 kids and a limited capacity. She has documented challenges and yet as I am trying to explain this to the workers they kept spewing this plan that I just could never see working…ever…I confronted them about setting her up to fail and it was clear that they did not understand. After a bit I stopped, I mean maybe S was older and wiser now and the S I knew had matured.
They leave and tell me that they are going to ask for an article 10 custody for me. They think it is a good idea for me to have the 13 year old girl and 6 year old boy. Of course both parents have to sign off…small problem…Dad never met me. Yep the devil is in the details. Uggg so I call my friend and give her updates as Grandma’s don’t always have details. We talk long and hard about things neither of us ever thought we would have to say. I ask her what she wants and there is a long pause and she says “ANYM it would be the best thing for both of them to live with you. I know you would let them talk to me and S and if they could not come home, I know you would give them what they need.” My heart breaks, it is a sad sad day when your friend tells you that you can raise her grandkids better than her own kid. I wanted to go through the phone and hug her, maybe so she feels better, maybe so I am not so scared.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)
I am sitting here now and prepping myself. Yep my house is in a bit of chaos. Good news the respite is in place so I will have regular breaks from N. My counselor will see me on Thursday. My sitters offered to take M1 and M2 even for short periods so I can breathe. I have supports, I have a way to make this happen. I am scared because in the midst of all this I am going to have to make this happen. Yes I am struggling to believe if he leads me to it he will lead me through it but at this point…well…I gotta hold onto something. So I will post the quote that N’s worker sent me today after finding out what happened this weeekend.
Galatians 6:9-11 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”