Making it Work

Sooooooo N has spent the last three days with us and it has been a series of ups and downs. The ups are fun for sure the downs, well they suck BUT they don’t seem to last long.  The weekend looked like this:

Friday- M2 comes up the stairs and says “Can N cut her hair?” I said “No” and down she went. Well N came barreling up the stairs and started yelling at me “Its my Barbie hair I can cut it if I want to. I always do it. You can’t tell me I can’t do it. I am practicing for cutting real people’s hair.” I looked at her and said very quietly “Umm not sure who you are talking to but coming upstairs and yelling at me is going to get you no where. Want to try it again?” She calmed herself down and I said just a couple questions, if you cut it will it make a mess? She said yes and I said are you going to clean it up? She said no. SO I said then you cannot do it because I don’t feel like cleaning up a mess. She did understand.
Saturday- after she split her toenail at TKD N got really dramatic. “I am going blind. I will pass out. I need to go to the hospital.” Yeah ok no. I told her to focus on me and she snapped at me several times. I took her off the mat because kicking would have hurt with that foot anyway and I did not want an escalation. I tried to talk to her and she was super rude and snapped at me again. I waited awhile and then tried again. I validated her feelings but reminded her that she can control how she reacts. ,Yes it was upsetting, yes it hurt, maybe you are embarrassed but still in control.
Sunday- not sure what happened but M2 said that N threw a basketball at her. Well N came running around the corner (I was in the church itself cleaning) and yelled at me “What is she saying about me. Why is she saying I hit her I didn’t. Tell me what she said” I looked at her and said quietly “I can talk to my daughter. You don’t need to know what we are talking about and please do not yell at me again.” She again yelled “Well if she is talking about me you have to tell me what she said.” I looked at her and said “Back up out of my face and stop to breathe. You are about to be in trouble for yelling at me so if I am not talking about the gym you need to back up and give me space to talk.” Well then M1 walked past and said “Don’t ever hit my sister” and N lost it. Now as soon as M1 opened her mouth I told her she needs to keep her mouth shut. N yells again and I remind her she is not in trouble, M1 was told to be quiet and M2 was told accidents happen. She ranted for a few seconds and I reminded her she was still not in trouble but that if she couldn’t calm herself down that would become an issue. She went into a corner yelling “I don’t want to be adopted”
OK I get it M1 was a jerk to her and yes I did talk to her. I am not sure if she really hit M2 or it was an accident so I was not going to do anything past remind them both to be safe when playing. Yikes the tears and the drama. I know I know my fault for having all girls.
Is it weird that I am glad some of this is happening? I know that seems twisted but not knowing what the fall outs will be is more worrisome to me than dealing with the fall outs themselves. I mean I know it will not be all sunshine and roses but at the same time I am grateful that it is not a massive meltdown I am not sure what to do with.
So anyway it is going and I will say well but of course there are bumps. N seemed to want to come back next week so unless she was not speaking out of anger we will look forward to next weekend with her.

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