Parting with “stuff”


OK since M1 has come to my home she has struggled with being a borderline hoarder. We have worked long and hard about it being OK to let go of “things” but initially it was impossible. Literally, she would go to sleep and I would remove the things she no longer played with, she absolutely could not do it. Now I did understand why she did it but not being able to let go of anything, well that won’t work either. Fast forward 10 year, yep her whole time with me.

I am going through my clothes and getting rid of things I don’t wear any more. M1 looks at me and says “Mom is it all right if I get rid of some of the clothes I don’t wear any more?” I say yes but to please separate by size so we can donate them. Now M1 has an EXCESSIVE amount of clothes. She literally has drawers full of things she does not wear BUT again can’t seem to let go. I bag my stuff see the little grey bag middle right? Yeah my stuff but I do this purge regularly because I have no attachment to stuff.

She comes out with the first white garbage bag full of clothes. I say nothing but in my mind I am saying “damn!!!!!” So I tell her I am going through the clothes mostly to make sure they are clean and wearable. WOW all clean, all neat and no rips or stains. I separate by size and am silently impressed. A few minutes later she comes out again with a second white garbage bag full of clothes. Again I go through and this time she helps me to break apart by sizes. We see a shirt and there is a momentary panic on her face as I refold it. I see the panic and ask if she is OK with this donation because if not then we will not give it away. She is visibly shook and says out loud “But I wanted to find some time to wear it but I never did. Are you mad I never wore it? (yes I had bought it for her). I assured her it was fine and that it is all right to get rid of. I left the top out just in case and a few minutes later I watched as she put it in the donation pile.

Meanwhile M2 comes bounding down the stairs. Now M2 has no issues with getting rid of clothes, she prefers birthday suit any day of the week, she has a toy hoarding issue. She says to me “Momma I have too many stuffed animals (yep truth) should I get rid of some?” I said she should and off she goes for the first armful. Three armfuls later I cannot find the floor to the living room. Many animals she bags up quickly but some she lingers with…she keeps asking me again and again “You are not going to throw them out right? You are going to do like Andy did (Toy Story) and give them to someone who will love them?” I assure her many times they will not be thrown away and will go to a new home.

End result well see above. Two white bags full of animals. Five bags of clothes and 2 bags of sheets all ready to go. Also we did a book purge (my fault here) and we have 4 bags full of books in good condition to donate. I coordinated all the donations and we are good to go. We load up the mini van and then we take out the 5 bags of trash. Yep tons broken, stained and otherwise unusable things went out the door. OK really  never thought there would be a day when the kids could do this for themselves without a major meltdown. I am so impressed and I told them they both that they did good and they both said that it was not as hard as they thought it would be.

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