So M1 is on a new tear lately and it amuses me to some end I must admit. It started a few weeks ago when I had hung up with my Mom and M1 could see I was frustrated. She said to me “Mom did you ever bother Grandma when you were growing up?” I laughed and said “Only when I was awake why?” She was trying to figure out why my mother and I had a strained relationship. I explained for what seemed to be the one millionth time that it was because my mother was very critical of pretty much everything I have done.
The next one made me laugh on the inside. “Mom did kids ever pick on you in high school?” I looked at her and said “Honey I am pretty sure I told you I had my own bully named Carrie. I am fairly sure I have mentioned that to you before.” She was silent for awhile and then said “Well yeah but….” and her voice trailed off. We sat quietly for a moment and then it dawned on me, she has no idea what 16 year old me looked like. She sees me now and there is just no way the me that she knows would ever have been bullied. I quickly clarified for her “Sweetie the person you see now did not exist until mid way through boot camp after I had the crap beaten out of me. The day that happened I snapped and never again allowed anyone to bully me but until that point, egad the only thing I tried to do was blend and hide.” She laughed an said “Yeah Grandma said you didn’t really have any friends growing up,”
The next set came after a discussion at school I am sure…..
“Mom did you ever smoke?”- ummm yes until you guys moved in then I quit
“Did you ever do drugs?”- no I left that to your Aunt and Uncles
“Did you ever have a boyfriend?”- well a couple but the most serious one dumped me after he found out we could not have kids.
“Have you ever been drunk?”- no given I have a crazy bad temper I am afraid I might be an angry drunk so for everyone’s safety no.
“Did you ever do anything your parents didn’t want you to do?”- oh boy this is a hard one. The answer is yes but unfortunately one of the things my parents did not think was good was that I adopted kids as a single person. She knew they hated the Army, she knew they wanted me to be a writer. I glossed over this one and said “Well sure honey all kids so things their parents frown upon.”
So I guess these are the baby steps toward a better relationship? It is the first time ever she actually wanted to know about younger me and surprisingly she is finding out we are not super different on a lot of things.
Can’t wait for the next question…just hope it isn’t about “grown lady stuff” hahaha