Discussing Death

Yeah ok I thought the lady conversations were tough….ooo boy was I mistaken this whole you death thing is so much more difficult. OK Let me back up a bit to help you understand what has been going on…..

We have one main sitter in our lives her name is Dee, well its not but it is for this blog. Dee has a daughter who lives with her named Mary. They both take care of their elderly and disabled father/grandfather. Unfortunately he has not been doing that well so Dee and I discussed what options were going to be. Last week I had to meet them at the hospital, he had stopped eating it looked grim. Dee came down with tears in her eyes, they put him on hospice care.

M1 waits till we get home and the questions start what is a health care proxy, why does Dee have to take care of him, why is he on hospice care, what does a dead body look like, what could he die from….and on and on and on….You know my mother is for real a hospice nurse and yet here I am trying to explain the mechanics of death and dying….

I explain that for some people my and Dee’s age it was the assumption by I am not sure who that the oldest always had to care for aging parents and that Dee nor myself ever questioned it because it was just how it was. She looked at me and said “So I have to take care of you when you get old?” I laughed and said no I would pick someone who actually wanted to do it. I then went on to explain living wills and health care proxy’s and how some people do not want feeding tube or ventilators. M1 was fascinated and the LONG conversation was why someone would choice one over the other.

Does it end there…nope then onto cremation vs burial and what happens  at the funeral home to prepare the body. Now don’t be grossed here but I was tutor in a school for mortuary science, I was the Composition tutor but suffice it to say I know WAY MORE than I ought to about this particular topic. So onward we go with a conversation I am having a hard time hearing myself say out loud. Ugg this was not something I ever envisioned happening and yet here we are. Oh did I mention my Mom is good friends with the undertaker….yeah sometimes our circles are a bit spooky.

So the talk winds down and we talk about the funeral. I explain the difference between a wake and a funeral and that we might likely go to the wake but depending on the time it might only be me at the funeral. M1 questions over and over “what does a dead person look like?” OK OK I get it but ugggg I hate millions of questions. Finally 2 hours later she is done with questions….thank goodness.

Then last night we are watching Map to Hell on National Geographic yeah this is timing for sure. Fortunately she fell asleep before too many more questions…yikes until next time than….

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