Reasons to Hope

So I was in the midst of work today when I see and email to my work email from C, N’s DSS worker. I am over whelmed with a sense of dread, there is no way this can be any good. I take a deep breath and look at the email.

I had case conference this morning with my supervisor.   I know you’re waiting to hear about the fair hearing results but she told me that being certified as an adoptive home only is a different process than being approved as a foster/adoptive home.  It might be worth you checking into if you are still interested in N.  I’ll be out of the office the first 2 weeks of May.  Trust you are all well. 

OK I admit that I am completely relieved to read this. I was pretty sure she was going to tell me that N is not available anymore, I mean a few weeks ago she told me point blank she was not sure I could be a resource for her. So I email her back immediately and said of course I am still interested. I also asked if they needed a foster/adoptive home study or an adoptive home study. She replied:

Being approved as an adoptive home would be all we need to consider you for N.  We would have to discuss safety measures just to make sure that N would be safe.  Whether that would be rearranging the bedrooms to make sure there is close supervision, etc.  We’ve not discussed this at all with N so obviously because she’s 14 would have to agree to be adopted. 

I told her I completely understood and would do whatever they felt was best. I breathed a sigh of relief I am still in the running thank goodness. Several minutes later I get another email from E, who is N’s Wendy’s Wonderful Kids Worker it says:

FYI. Our program does the ‘adopt only’ certification process. My co worker, B is in charge of that program. There is a flat fee involved as well. Let me know if you’d like more info.

I immediately responded and said yes please send me some information. I mean she is in E’s agency and of course E has met me so this might be of help. I go about my business as I had a TON of data input to do, after all we just hired 120 people and I have to put every one of them into the state’s learning system. After a couple of hours it dawns on me…what the heck does N think about me now? I have been gone 6 almost 7 months now did she even care? I send an email to E as she sees N every month and I say:

Is N still aware of me or has she moved on? Is there a chance she would not want to start the process over if I am cleared?

I didn’t really want the answer and yet if she had moved on then I needed to as well. I hoped she would answer soon but I knew she was busy so maybe not. In what seemed like an eternity later, I finally hear from E:

She hasn’t forgotten you!  I think she would be overjoyed (although cautious, of course) if you stepped back into her life!   🙂

OMG so happy. I offered up an immediate prayer of thanks and a request to clear my name. I know I have two weeks to go until I testify and I pray I don’t mess it up and that by the month’s end I have been vindicated.