Today M1 was sullen when I picked her up from the sitter. She was not angry just sullen and I knew head on questioning would get me no where. Freaking great I am not so good at the subtle thing but I have to make this work.
I made the kids their favorite dinner and M1 is picking at it. I ask why she is not eating and she is vague. I asked her what she ate today at the sitter’s knowing sometimes she eats a ton of junk food. She admitted she had some but not enough that it should ruin her appetite so I question what did she eat at school, she says nothing. OMG I need about a ton of patience which is running very low after a long day at work…grrr..breathe momma breathe.
So I say “OK here is the deal, you are not eating so you must be upset. You are sullen and rude to your sister so you are clearly bothered by something. Now you can keep your feelings to yourself and bottle it up but that will not help you feel better or solve a thing. You could take a chance and actually talk to me. I CAN listen but you have to make that choice.” Silence followed for several moments and I struggled hard to not be annoyed or run my mouth. Finally after an eternity or about 4 minutes she say “Fine I broke up with G are you happy now?”
Yes I am happy…but no I know she wanted him to be the one and only so I must be sensitive and oh yeah she actually is talking!!!!! I told her I was sorry she was hurt and told her it made a lot of sense the way she was acting now. I validated her feelings and reminded her that breaking up via email is cowardly and that she deserved a better break up and yes he should have called her first. I do my best not to slam the kid but no he was no knight in shining armor. While I mostly listen I see her eating more of her dinner. OK good it is making a difference. I remind her she IS love-able even if she does not feel that way right now.
She comes and sits next to me on the couch for awhile and I pull up some funny memes to make her laugh. We went food shopping and I let her get her favorite drink as a small condolence for the misery I am sure she feels. When we get home I do NOT nag her to help with the groceries and she does put some away so I accept that without saying a word. She looks at me and says “I am going to be early” I nod and say “Yeah sure good night”
OMG this teen thing sucks big time. No I cannot keep her from heart break. I can try talking to her about NOT dating right now but yeah that is NOT how this kid is wired. Gad what to do, I know I know be supportive, don’t trash the exes and try not to show how happy I am that she is now single. After all I do know that she is not happy when she is single. I so wish there was a manual for this stuff, it would help sooo much!!!!!
Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”