Surprising Honesty

So last Saturday was the belt test for the girls. Before the class, the Master Instructor came to me and said “I cannot give M1 her belt today given that you checked off both disrespectful at home to you and to teachers in school. Did you mean that or were you angry at the time?”  I held back my laughter and said “Well no in the past two weeks she has called me a b*** to my face, told me she hates me, gotten into two fights at school and been on detention. No I was not being reactive it is a pattern for her.” The Instructor looked aghast, well I guess he was not expecting that after all he does not really see all that in class. He told me he was going to talk to her and off he went and I went to the judging table (no my kids are not put in my line).

At the end of class he called M1 to stand up and he said to her “Why is it when you are here you are respectful, don’t curse and follow all directions yet you cannot do that at home? (M1 looked at her feet) Also it says that at school you disrespect teachers and peers why is that?” M1 said that she did not know. So he continued “Well respect is a critical tenet of TKD and if you cannot respect your mother then you cannot have your belt. I will check with your mom in a week to see if you have made improvements, until you improve you will not get your belt.” There was a collective gasp in the room from the other parents as the Instructor looked at me directly and I nodded. OK I am uncomfortable and just blew my Mom of the Year award. Well M1 said not a word to me on the ride home. OK I deserved that one.

So we are in class last night and at the end of the class the Master Instructor looked at M1 and said “Have you made improvements?” M1 looked at me and I looked away I did not want to even mention she lied to me again and stole from me this past week. She looked at the Instructor and said “No Sir I have not earned my belt.” The Master Instructor looked at her and said “Why?” She replied “I, umm, did a really crappy thing to Mom last week and I know it is wrong.” OK well I was blown away, I mean honestly she just was truthful in a round about sort of way. The Master Instructor put his arm around her shoulder and said “We need to talk walk with me.” and took her to the other side of the mat.

My BFF looked at me in amazement “Did she just tell the truth?” I nodded, yep she did and now there are consequences. On the ride home I looked at her and said “Thank you for telling the truth.” She nodded.

OK that was an unexpected surprise.


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