“I am terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought”- Harold Ramis
My heart pounded as I rode the elevator to the 6th floor and my attorney’s office. The trial is next Tuesday and I am sick with worry. I get there and the paralegal greets me, she is her usual cheery self. I offer a weak smile but my knees are knocking and I want to throw up. She tells me to have a sit and of course I do. My attorney comes out and says “Boy you don’t need a cup of coffee you need a glass of wine.” All I could think was “Well that or a Valium.”
She goes over the report painful paragraph by painful paragraph. I feel raw and angry and hurt. My attorney is really sweet though and is super supportive when the facts in the report contradict themselves. I explain confused time lines and how they minced words. I pointed out that one of the statements is out of context and that it was my knee jerk reaction to having my world over turned. The attorney starts piecing together a better picture of my child and life instead of the crap they spelled out.
She tells me the questions she will asks me and lets me know what she wants in the answer. She advises that I am to answer questions as they are and provide no additional information. She tells me that when she wants more information she will ask more questions. My attorney did not think that DSS would call witnesses but to be silent if they do call any. I am not sure who they could call, I mean half the crud is the investigators info and not balanced against another person.
The therapist that was treating M1 for seven years thankfully will show so we can hear from her that a bunch of the stuff is inaccurate and that M1 has a high propensity for both lying and exaggerating. I am grateful she is going to be there for me. I know she does not normally like to testify.
Did I mention I was terrified? I can barely thinks straight but know I have to keep it together for a few more days. Then of course begin the unknown wait of having a written verdict delivered. No I will not find out on Tuesday the outcome, no I am not happy about that my life has been on hold for so long.
So we wait and pray like my life depends on it because oh yeah it does.