So we have our second meeting with N and we went on Saturday to a water park for the whole day. Now I mean literally from 12-5:30 when I had to pry them loose to get dinner and get N home in time. We did every single ride including the one above. Did I mention I am terrified of heights? I don’t mean make me uncomfortable I mean I black out/faint from terror of heights. See the purple tube I went down that one because I figured no way in heck if I saw myself going down I would remain conscious. M2 was terrified and had to be talked down the stairs and honestly except that I tell my kids to face their fears I wanted to walk back down too.
We brought N back to her room and she invited us up to see it. OK the video of this place LIED. I don’t mean sugar coated I mean LIED. The floor had NOTHING that was fun or entertaining or engaging, welcoming or homey not a damn thing. The girls were coarse and rude and the one little sweetheart was lucky I did not punch her she was so in my face. N’s room was barren a few scraps of paper on the wall, a few articles of clothing hung up and a twin bed with a Disney quilt. It was so depressingly horrible I had to turn away to not say something awful. OMG how can a kid live like this!!!!!!!
M1 was appalled when she looked around, she would later tell me. She was horrified she had no “real clothes, real pictures” and that her room had nothing. She said it looked like a prison cell. M1 begged me to buy her some real clothes because what N had was “f*** ugly and dated” She looked at me and said “Doesn’t anyone care about her?” and I reminded her that staff was not the same as Mom and that for the last 6 years all N has had is staff. She started to plot ways to make it right. Good news my kid actually showing empathy, I will take it.
We took N hiking the next day and she was up for the challenge. She had never been trailing walking before even though the website said they do it a lot. Oh well, so we went over the basics, don’t come off the path, don’t run and look around every now and then to see the beauty of nature. N was a trooper having never done it before. The trails were STEEP and we stopped a bunch of times.
We get to the tops and we have just a bit more on the trail when N calls it. She is too tired can we go back. All right it was hard and sure why not so back down we go around the other side. We stuck our feet in the cold water and chilled for awhile. M1 announced it was time for the tailgate and N looked confused, she had no idea what a tailgate party was and so we had a wild one. You know it is good when the other hikers laughed along with us as we passed out our sandwiches and fruit. OMG can you imagine never having done a hike than had lunch in the back of the car?!?!? My heart hurt from the sadness of all the little joy she missed.
We go to find out what kind of clothes she likes and she has no answer. She has no idea what size she wears, what styles she likes nothing. I have to shoot M1 a dirty look to shut her up when she starts to get frustrated. Remember kiddo I would tell her later, when you have a limited budget and no one to talk you through these things your wardrobe looks bland and you have no clue what you actually like. While it hurts me my kids are learning it this way I pray secretly that they learn a bit of appreciation. No I am not Super Mom but yeah I got basics covered.
Once we drop her off at her campus we go to the outlet stores. I get my guys some back to school clothes and pick up some things I think will fit N. They are her favorite color and I am pretty sure the right size as I checked her shirt when she took it off to go swimming.
It is so hard to know how stark this kid’s life is. I just want so badly to pull her from it and bring her home.