Well it happened, yesterday we went to the zoo to meet N the child we would potentially adopt. OMG it was surreal. She was nervous, we were nervous and her staff looked awkward.
She was all dressed up and my heart hurt as I thought, how sad she thinks she has to impress me. She looked pretty no doubt but still, I like you for you. We talked about a ton of things we laughed a lot and I got to know her better. She liked when I took her picture and asked several times to use my camera. I was a bit surprised as she initially told me no photos. Oh well I am happy I got some.
She got along well with the girls as was silly and fun with us. She was excited to start Tae Kwon Do but terrified about flying to Disney. She wants to get her ears pierced, take horse riding lessons and know what day she comes to see my house. It was so amazing talking to her and yet when she mentioned the pain at not seeing her birth family I felt bad. They don’t want to visit with her. They took her brother out of care and not her. I cannot even imagine.
Near the end of the visit she plopped herself between M1 and me. She took her arm and linked it around my arm and put her head down on my shoulder. I was totally thrown off so many alarm bells went off in my head. Did she think she had to suck up to me? Was she like this with everyone? She did hug M1 and M2 at the end of the visit so maybe she is just a huggy kid but still is this normal? Remember my only frame of reference is a RAD teen and there no hugs ever.
I don’t know I am so confused. I think all went well but now I wait to hear back from the team and what N said happened and if she was excited. I wait to hear if she is just a kid who hugs or if this was different. I wait and hope. Gosh what a roller coaster this is!!