OK it almost happened. I literally almost quit right before the miracle happened. I wanted to give up on the adoption thing truly I did. I asked about N three weeks ago and no answer for three weeks. I called one last desperate time to get a hope of a time frame for an answer even if it was negative.
“OMG I am sorry ANYM I meant to call you. D said it was all right BUT she was concerned that you might end up with 5 kids and were you prepared for that. But I knew you had a plan so go ahead.”
I almost cried, literally right there in my cubicle. The look on my face said it all as my co worker asked if I was all right because I looked completely shocked. I quickly explained the situation and begged her not to tell anyone because so much could go not right between then and now. Her whole face lit up and she promised not so say a word. She asked a few questions which I answered about the adoption in general and a few questions about N in particular.
Over dinner I casually mentioned it to the kids and both M1 and M2 jumped clear out of their chairs yelling. They shouted and screeched with excitement and I was amazed at their reactions. I told them it would be awhile still but that it was going to go forward. I was pretty sure that it was a mini Christmas that night. Don’t get me wrong I am happy too but WOW were the kids off the wall.
I told the Pastor and his wife, my BFF and my sister. I have to figure out how to tell my parents I am not sure how that will go. I expect poorly as things usually do. Eventually I will also tell my brothers but that is more tricky one never answers the phone and the other has a wife who HATES me so unless I get him directly I will not actually get to him.
So tomorrow is Monday, my miracle has happened I think and I will hopefully hear from N’s staff. I am excited and worried and nervous all at once. Next Monday is the meeting with the Little’s parents and we have to discuss if they think they can do it. So far they are not doing well it has been a month and they have not progressed past a single overnight each weekend. The Little’s were suppose to go home in two weeks, it is not going to happen till maybe next month they are saying now. It has been 16 months, they don’t have much time left.
I am scared for them and no part of me feels they can do it. I feel tremendous sorry for them that DSS is going to ask them to consider making other plans if they do not feel they can do it. I am worried in part what alternate custody plans might look like. I am afraid of the rage of their father. So many emotions and so much unknown.
What a wild ride this has been!!!