So last night was GPS/MAPP class and per usual I am instructing. Now due to an accident (not me) I was late so when the other instructor said “Can I talk to you later?” all my paranoia kicked in at full force. At the break I find out that the two home finders split the foster parents up and I was to be with M. OK no issue she must have questions about C that all made sense. My paranoia waned almost completely
Class ends and she comes over and says “I got an email that was strange and I don’t know what to do about it. It said ‘ANYM family is interested in XXX child” sorry I can’t remember the name.” I said it could be true but that it might be old as I have been looking for almost two years so if she gives me the name I can say if it is old or new. She looked at me and said “What do you mean you have been trying to adopt for two years? Are you being serious I can’t tell” I assured her I was being completely and totally serious. She said “What the heck what was the issue?”
I laughed and said that sometimes it was the home finder who said no because it was more than four hours away. Sometimes she said no because it was not a good match. Sometimes she said no because I currently had a placement. But that for two years the answer was no so last week I did ask the county adoption a question about a child here in the county because I thought maybe that would get me a yes. She stared at me and said “You are not kidding are you? ANYM your file doesn’t say you’re interested in adopting?”
OK I cannot tell you the actual words that went through my head in the shock of the statement she just said. What do you mean it does not say that I want to adopt I was VERY CLEAR about that with the old home finder. The conversations continue throughout the day and it turns out there is almost nothing in my file about all of my inquiries, being matched or not being represented by the agency. No one but the old home finder knew I wanted to adopt and could I please spell out what I was looking for.
You have GOT to be kidding me nothing at all nothing. I asked about C’s file that I KNOW was sent and KNOW it was received. I am told there is nothing about her in my file. Only that I had made an inquiry. M asks can send it again? Ummm freak yes. What the heck happened and now I am thinking maybe it was only the home finder who didn’t want me to have five kids. Would M be willing to ask the Supervisor again for me because if she did object then OK we back to the plan for going to a new agency. BUT if the Supervisor said yes…well can I start now? The Littles are due to go home this summer and the ICPC process takes months. M said to send her C’s file and she would talk to the Supervisor for me.
Now the realist in me says that nothing will change and the Supervisor will probably say no BUT I did spell out I want to pursue C and still be open for the Littles should they return. M then emailed me and said that she and county adoption were going to hold a matching event since there were so many families that want to adopt and for years no one has helped them. Can I tell you I almost cried. Now yes I am a wreck this week so that contributes but could this really happen. Could I actually end up adopting? I was excited and for the first time in months actually felt hope that it could work out to my best interest.
Please holy high roller let this work out!!!!