Today I am home with the kids, tons of snow is the reason. As I am trying to settle Little Bit down for a nap the phone rings. I blow it off but M1 comes upstairs yelling “Mom its DSS!!” My only two thoughts “Crap what did I do wrong and darn it now she won’t sleep”
I answer the phone and it is the homefinder. My heart sinks, we start class next week but there is no reason she would call me if all was well. I feel the waves of nausea pass over me and the impending doom as I hear her say “We needed to talk to you about a few things” My hands start to shake, the last time I heard this they told me I was not going to teach the class and they wondered if I should still be a foster parent.
She tells me she is being moved to a new unit and she does not sound happy. She says the class for next week is canceled and that the Supervisor wants to talk to me before the next class. A million thoughts pass through my mind, were we doing it were we not? She explains that the Supervisor wants to talk to me about becoming the lead for right now because even if the new staff are trained in MAPP/GPS they would not have done it. I agree but am hesitant, the other shoe should drop any time now…..Nothing some info on who the replacement instructor will be and that they would like to start next month instead.
I hang up the phone and wonder what is going on for real. She did not sound happy and while it is hard for me to truly care it bothers me that suddenly she is gone. I don’t have any others to talk to as I know my case worker won’t say anything and that the Supervisor barely speaks to me so it would not be right to ask her much anything. I wonder what went on and why? What else is happening behind the scenes? I am so curious.
Suddenly a thought rushes through my head…could I get the next person to agree to helping me start with C? Could I be brave enough to venture a talk with the Supervisor to ask her myself as I know the new person would not necessarily know me enough but surely the Supervisor could be approached? I am excited at the thought but then again it is still DSS so maybe not.
OK maybe I will be cautiously optimistic and continue to pray I can bring C home to my home.