Songs of the year

Everyone is doing a year in review so here is my twist. Here are some songs of this year and a reflection on my year.

“Oh I swear to you. I’ll be  there for you, this is not a drive by….” Train

Yeah no matter what kiddos I am there for you. I love you to death but you drive me nuts so many days but I will always be there for you because you are my kids and it is my privilege.

But I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, ’cause I’m just holding on for tonight” Sia

Single parenting is hard. Special needs kids are hard. Combine both and some days I am just holding on for dear life. But deep down I truly believe God brought me these kids for a reason so if I can get through the night we can make it happen.

“Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth… Clap along if you know what happiness is to you..” Pharrell Williams

I do know what happiness is thanks to my good friends and my kiddos. I can’t imagine any happiness greater then arms wrapping around you as they whisper “I love you don’t tell anyone”

“To intervene between me and this monster and save me from myself and all this conflict ‘Cause the very thing that I love’s killing me and I can’t conquer it…”Eminem

OMG parenting is so hard and feeling adequate about the job I am doing is the monster in my life, under my bed and holy crud inside my head. I do need an interventionist to help me conquer the doubt, fears and insecurities I have about the best job I EVER had.

“And the fears that once controlled me, can’t get to me at all! It’s time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through No right, no wrong, no rules for me I’m free!”  Idina Menzel

I made so many changes this year from taking on boys, changing jobs and even changing churches. It was all so scary and overwhelming but yet freeing to do what I really did not think I could do and then discover it did not actually kill me.

“But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all? And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you’ve been here before? How am I gonna be an optimist about this?” Bastille

How many times does it feel like this…that it is chaos and yet if you take a second and remember is it really all that different. Have we not been here before and did we not survive just fine. Yeah we did so remember what we learned and be positive, if we are back to the same spot there must be something we missed and still need to learn.

And from my all time favorite song of this year 

“You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll so if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along…” Meghan Trainor

Yeah I am in no way traditional and never will be. If you don’t like it oh freakin well. Nope not a size two either but again that does not make  me any less of anything. If you think it does keep on moving again not interested.

So everyone have a great new year and I wish you many blessings!!

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