I was some place tonight where I have been before, with some new people. I overheard this statement when asked about the children in NY’s Blue Books (awaiting adoption)
“Well there is always a problem with those kids. If they are in that book then you know there is something wrong with them because if there wasn’t their foster family would have adopted them. So sure you can look but know that those kids are not usually a good fit for a normal family.”
So guess who uttered that phrase???? If you guessed the agency home finder you would be correct. Now the answer was in response to a person asking about the blue books and if kids are in the blue books because they were not adopted by foster families. So yes in one aspect her answer is completely correct but am I just overly sensitive to hear the words “those kids” and “normal family”. So this means I am not a “normal family”, well all right maybe not, but what exactly is normal? Is it her family perhaps? How do you know that the five families sitting in front of us at this MAPP/GPS class would not be the perfect family for one of “those kids” To hear her talk it is like none of them could ever make it in a home setting, wow talk about a complete downer.
Outside I said nothing but inside I made note, when teaching this class for my new adoption agency NEVER refer to the kids as “those kids” and be realistic but not so much so the situation looks totally hopeless. Yes some are super challenged but not all of them are not able to make it in a home with the right training. But they all need someone to love them for who they are and see the potential in them. They are real kids with hopes and dreams and just because they have issues does not make them less worthy as it were.
Yes I do need to change agencies soon, their spin on thinks is just not syncing any more.