Thinking of Beginning

So I have resigned myself to the fact Little Man and Little Bit will go home. Yes I am sad please do not think that has changed but I did realize it could happen and now it really looks like it will happen in the Spring of 2015.

I looked into the Adopt Us Kids webpage and the NYS Office of Children and Family services page and did not see any kids in this immediate area. I contacted my agency and asked foster care if it was ok to talk to adoption about my wanting to adopt. They said sure and I contacted them. Yep told me point blank they could not help me. Told me that I already knew the resources so good luck in my search. I was dumbfounded…the adoption case manager did not really want to help, offer information or anything. WOW did I really mean that little to them.

I contacted the agency I talked to before. I asked how long for a home study and the associated fees. They got right back to me spelling it all out. It takes about 3 months so I could start while I am fostering. I could balance the finances. They seemed to be super receptive to me and stated they felt bad that my agency will not do outside of a four hour radius. Oh just for the record..four hours doesn’t even get me to Buffalo sooooooo……

It is a Christian organization which is no issue to me and as long as I am not having children out of wedlock I was apparently not an issue for them either. I did talk to them about my singleness and my firm commitment to that status they did not really seem concerned especially when I said I had adopted my two. They did ask my church status and yes I do attend, yes I am a full member and yes I am dedicated to a Christian life so again no issues. Part of it felt right and part of me felt like I was betraying my old agency. I hate feeling like this and even when I remind myself of the hundreds of times they have let me down or were unprofessional to me it still feels so weird. I mean I am doing this I am going forward to ADOPT another child or children.

I was looking at kids again like I was last year but this time it is different. I am thinking of how someone might actually stand up for me and represent me when I asked them to. It is weird and scary having someone on my side. I can’t believe that it could really happen. It could be that a year from now…next Christmas I could have my very own PERMANENT little family. Maybe my Rector will actually get to do that adoption service he wants to do.

3 thoughts on “Thinking of Beginning

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  1. “Maybe my Rector will actually get to do that adoption service he wants to do.” I am praying that all your desires come true. As you can imagine this spoke to my soul. I’m prayerful that you have this opportunity. ❤

  2. I totally get your desire to leave your agency and find one more supportive of you and your needs. As soon as our foster son goes home we will be doing the same thing. So tired of feeling like I’m going through this alone.

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