So I have resigned myself to the fact Little Man and Little Bit will go home. Yes I am sad please do not think that has changed but I did realize it could happen and now it really looks like it will happen in the Spring of 2015.
I looked into the Adopt Us Kids webpage and the NYS Office of Children and Family services page and did not see any kids in this immediate area. I contacted my agency and asked foster care if it was ok to talk to adoption about my wanting to adopt. They said sure and I contacted them. Yep told me point blank they could not help me. Told me that I already knew the resources so good luck in my search. I was dumbfounded…the adoption case manager did not really want to help, offer information or anything. WOW did I really mean that little to them.
I contacted the agency I talked to before. I asked how long for a home study and the associated fees. They got right back to me spelling it all out. It takes about 3 months so I could start while I am fostering. I could balance the finances. They seemed to be super receptive to me and stated they felt bad that my agency will not do outside of a four hour radius. Oh just for the record..four hours doesn’t even get me to Buffalo sooooooo……
It is a Christian organization which is no issue to me and as long as I am not having children out of wedlock I was apparently not an issue for them either. I did talk to them about my singleness and my firm commitment to that status they did not really seem concerned especially when I said I had adopted my two. They did ask my church status and yes I do attend, yes I am a full member and yes I am dedicated to a Christian life so again no issues. Part of it felt right and part of me felt like I was betraying my old agency. I hate feeling like this and even when I remind myself of the hundreds of times they have let me down or were unprofessional to me it still feels so weird. I mean I am doing this I am going forward to ADOPT another child or children.
I was looking at kids again like I was last year but this time it is different. I am thinking of how someone might actually stand up for me and represent me when I asked them to. It is weird and scary having someone on my side. I can’t believe that it could really happen. It could be that a year from now…next Christmas I could have my very own PERMANENT little family. Maybe my Rector will actually get to do that adoption service he wants to do.