A Miracle in Therapy

M1 wants to be a counselor in training next summer at the YMCA. She is good with kids, can think in an emergency and gets kids involved. It sounds perfect right??? It is all true but it is also true that she sexually abused her sister, molested two elementary school boys and sexually harassed middle school boys. Yes she does think I am unreasonable in DEMANDING we address her issues in this area in therapy. She was a childhood victim of sexual abuse so we know where these issues came from BUT until she was ready, if she was ready, could it be addressed.

The therapist and I told her last month if she was going to do it correctly  it would have to start soon. Last time she resisted and cursed at me. I relented. I reminded her I loved her regardless of her issues but for the safety of the other children I HAD to put this in place. If looks could kill, well I would have died two weeks ago. I went in today not thinking much was going to happen. Can I tell you I WAS WRONG!!!!!! I WAS DEAD WRONG!!!!!

Initially M1 stated she didn’t remember what happened. I was confused she told me all about it as a child. I knew the details…a lot of them…The therapist suggested that what happened was that now I was the carrier of the memories so I had to tell her, her story. I don’t normally cry..I mean not ever… but as I saw the tears stream down my teens face as I relayed the horror of her sexual abuse to her I could not stop them myself. I relayed the details and then just touched her on the shoulder as she sobbed. She doesn’t really want me to hold her, she is not a touchy feely kind of kid. So I sat with my hand on her shoulder as she came to terms with all I had said.

The therapist asked me to finish her story and I was confused. She prompted me again “You need to tell M1 how come it suddenly came to an end. It is important for her to know” M1 looked at me puzzled and I resisted for a moment. She had forgotten so why remind her. The therapist urged me a third time and so I took a deep breath

“You told your Mom what was happening and she didn’t believe you. You told your Gramma and she said that you were lying her boyfriend would never. You told me and  I called the cops. I threatened to kill him and then your Aunt E and I took you out of the house and I held onto you until your Mom agreed to go back to her house where your abuser was not. Yes I kidnapped you”

M1 stared in disbelief. The therapist said to me “If you were to see him now what would you do?” Without a blink I replied “Probably serve time for the aggravated assault I would commit” M1 laughed rawly and said “She might kill him for real” The therapist agreed I probably would do damage and asked M1 “Why does she hate him so M1?” M1 rolled her eyes and said “Because she loves me and would have no issue going to prison since he hurt me”

Yeah I love her like that and if only she could feel it. But never mind that…my kid talked in therapy today. I mean really talked!! I am so proud and so relieved. Maybe we can get her through this to the other side….God willing….God willing.



6 thoughts on “A Miracle in Therapy

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  1. WOW!!!! AMAZING PROGRESS! And poor M1…sexual abuse leaves such everlasting damage. Is M2 the only sister M1 has? Does M2 remember what happened to her in regards to the abuse?

  2. No M2 does not remember as she was an infant. Yes M2 is M1’s only sister. We talked about it and how when it happened M1 didn’t realize fully it was wrong but then I still have all the safeguards in place to prevent it from happening again.

    1. My best friend was sexually abused by her father starting when she was an infant and it stopped when she was 4; he attempted to rape her, but because she was 4 and “too small” he cut from her vagina to her belly button with a knife. The neighbors heard her screams and called the police. Her father answered the door calmly, and when the police found my friend they called the ambulance and she was rushed into emergency surgery. Her father was never charged…the military protected him.

      Is M1’s abuser in prison??

  3. Therapeutic breakthroughs are so unpredictable. I never expect them and even when they are happening, on the inside I’m like–Is *this* really happening. They are powerful. Good for you both.

  4. So glad that M1 has found a reason to get help. One of our kiddies has sexualised behaviours and can’t be placed with other children. Poor little kid, as a toddler they witnessed older siblings being sexually abused so has no recollection of the events, but it’s still in their memories. It’s so good that M1had a therapy ‘miracle’.

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