So after my event at the beginning of the week with the drug dealer I am a little more cautious when entering and leaving day care. I stay aware of my surroundings and actually carry my phone in case I need it.
Two days ago per usual I go to drop Little Man and Little Bit off and I park the car on the road, walk up around the corner and in we go. When I come back out on the corner I notice a young man standing there looking nervous as all get out. I wait a second to see if he moves, then I remember it is a bus stop and I am an idiot because dude is waiting for a bus. I start to approach the corner and he makes eye contact with me. I smile because no point in building enemies first thing in the morning. Suddenly he says “Is your name ANYM?” My heart stopped and I stared hard was he a customer from work? A friend of a customer from work? All of the sudden it dawns on me its Dad!!!!
I say “Yes I am, you must be A**** I recognize you from your Facebook photo” and I extend my hand hoping it isn’t shaking too violently. A million thoughts rush through my mind, what is he doing here, what does he want, is he sober, has he been stalking me? He grabs my hand and holds it tight.
“I want to thank you so much for taking great care of my kids. You have done a good job and I really appreciate it”
He talks so fast spilling out his side of the story and what he has had to face. The whole time his eyes were pleading with me not to make too harsh of a judgement as he accepted responsibility for what he did wrong. What struck me as he spoke though was his brutal honesty, even with details I DID NOT need, he was being truthful. He spoke of being sober for 37 days and that he was going to treatment down the street and how each day he watched me walk the kids in to daycare but he did not approach me as he did not want to confuse the kids. He said he has wanted to talk to me for awhile but that he was a little afraid of what I would be like, but it was Mom who convinced him to approach me.
I thanked him for taking that chance and congratulated him on being sober. We talked for awhile about his plan from here and what he wanted to do long term. I felt bad for him, really badly, because when I heard him talk I kept hearing him saying “If I relapse or “Mom” relapses we will….” I realize in that moment how horrifically powerful addiction really is and it saddens me to know they struggle like this daily. But then he said something that shook me to my core
“ANYM when we get the kids back can you sometimes take them so we have a break. I mean we are good parents but everyone needs a break right? I don’t mean long term I mean for weekends or something like that?”
Relief washed over me as I heard him offer that and I said “Yes as long as you remain sober I am happy to help. But if you start to use again, I HAVE TO look out for the kids” He grabbed my hand and squeezed it hard saying “Thank you” and explaining he needed to get to treatment but that he would see me again soon. He ran down the street and I walked to the van.
Wow what a strange but wonderful meeting.