Finally a permanency plan

The kids have been with me since February and despite my numerous attempts to get more information about a time frame for return no one has said a word. It is frustrating and maddening all at the same time. I can function no matter what the plan but I struggle when there is no plan at all.

Finally we hit the six month mark and I am waiting expectantly because by law there must be a permanency plan at six months. I wait the first week of the month passes, then the second starts and finally the questions are asked. When was their last counseling appointment, dental appointment, medical appointment and what meds are they on. It is like Christmas to me because I know that the report is being written. I am told the lawyers must sign off first then yes I will get my copy I ask for highlights he tells me I will see it soon enough. Dude you are killing me….

Then yes thank you good Jesus..the plan arrives. I rip it open like it is a check for a million dollars and read desperately anxious for what is scheduled to happen. As I am reading the thought goes through my head “Be careful what you ask for” Mom did not successfully complete her program. She was transferred in lieu of being kicked out. I feel like the air was sucked out of my lungs. It is a HUGE problem did she learn all she needed to? Is she really ok? Dad successfully completed 14 days of rehab and was now in supportive living. Both parents are in the same program….I feel my heart hit my toes. I can’t see how this is going to work. I just can’t see it.

The usual requirements stay sober, engage in counseling and maintain stable housing. Mom will be in her program for 6-9 months. Kids cannot go there for overnights or to live permanently.  “Plan to move the children in the next five months” for both kids “No” I breath a sigh of relief. They are mine for awhile…yes I even appear to get Christmas with them so I am pumped. I feel sad for the parents please don’t get me wrong but I am so terrified they are not stable enough to maintain I am glad I get to keep them. I know it is selfish but honestly it is how I feel.

I hug them a bit harder tonight out of relief but also a bit of sadness. I know they want to be with their parents but it is more important for them to be safe.

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