Well today is M1’s birthday and she turns 14. What a crazy ride it has been. When she first came to me she was angry and resentful….well all right that is the same still. Yes I am joking she is much less angry but not happy or content. RAD is hard and times like this when I know that even though I got her THE BOOTS she wanted nothing will change. My BFF asked why I bothered and I remind her when I don’t she tells the world how perfectly awful I am, how I consistently abuse her and what a horrific terrible life she leads. Anything to be the victim and that makes me sad. It must be a crappy way to live life.
When Grandma called today M1 was suppose to tell her she was sorry for stealing the birthday money but of course with me standing there she just hung up. I wanted to smack her and I am not normally a violent person. There was no regret, no remorse nothing just the usual “screw you b***” look she gets. I had to walk away… I was too angry… I could not trust myself so I walked away. All the kids watched and jumped on her when I walked away M2 said “You know you gonna be in big trouble now” and Little Man said “You know Mom is pissed she walked away and didn’t say nothin” Little Bit just sang “Uh oh naughty bunny”
I feel certain about pressing charges against her. I am waiting to hear from her therapist to be sure I am not being an idiot but after tonight I see the defiance and think “nope we are done” She thinks she got away with it and even though she will have to do chores this weekend to make up the money she is not actually impacted.