OK so I am not going to win Mother of the Year anytime soon and while on one level I accept this on the other I hope I don’t come in close to first for Worst Mommy of the Year. It is the first day of summer vacation and everyone is excited…can’t find the catch…here is where M2’s Autism shines through.
I go to drop off M1 and M2 at the sitters as they are out of school and it begins. Now M2 loves the sitter and loves spending time with her but it is the first day of summer vacation and M2 isn’t in her routine. She has year round schooling but there are four weeks where we have to deal with what is about to happen. She grabs me around the waist and starts to cry “I love you Mum Mum I miss you” Several hugs and kisses later the sitter transitions her off of me (physically) and into the house and I leave feeling like crud. I mean I know she will be fine but she hurts and I hurt.
The sitter drops her off and claims all is well which means she anticipated and dealt with whatever. M2 clings to my waist again “I love you Mum Mum, I miss you” I tell her we have to clean the house and the tantrums begin. She throws herself onto the floor screaming and kicking. I walk around and ignore and eventually it subsides. She picks herself up and goes to her room then I hear the scream from Little Bit. I run in to find her on her butt crying her arms up to me. I pick her up and Little Man says “M2 pushed her” I tell M2 no pushing and the screaming begins. “Why you hate me I calling the police you going to jail” I walk out thinking please take me it will end me having to deal with this. I hate myself in that moment but I remember to breath and take a moment with Little Bit.
Dinner comes and she throws it onto the floor yelling “I am not eating this I hate it” OK whatever no one is going to starve so go ahead and finish cleaning your room. Suddenly Little Man tips his bowl on the floor and states “I am not eating this I hate it” OK well then no dessert go clean your room . They both go off to M2’s room and the fighting starts. It escalates in seconds and I am forced to intervene. I send Little Man up to his room and tell M2 to clean her room. The screaming starts and then she throws things at me, great I have to restrain her fun fun. I restrain her tight for a minute and she stops sobbing. I kiss her head tell her to finish cleaning up she cries some more.
I get up and as I am leaving her room M1 is screaming “Mom Little Bit is choking” Yeah I can’t print the thought that went through my head as I rush out and quickly perform the Heimlich on her safely removing her food stuff. I gather up Little Bit who is sobbing and terrified. In the background M2 is crying and Little Man is stomping upstairs. Yep they won’t be making a family show out of my reality. How many hours till bed???
An eternity passes or maybe an hour I can’t be sure but FINALLY house is clean, kids are showered and thank you Father in Heaven it is BEDTIME!!!! Kisses all around and I love you’s too. I collapse on the couch and type. Little Bit is singing her pre-sleep song and I know I survived relatively unscathed. Yep it is a transition time. Yep it is hard but we survived last year and can do it again this year. Yep bedtime will come every night.
Thank goodness for the little things and please don’t get me wrong I love my kiddos regardless.