If someone could please step forward and stop the world from spinning so I could get off for a minute I would be ever so appreciative. I am at………
Yes I know that doesn’t happen but heck might as well wish right?!?! Things have been going fast and furious at chez ANYM. We start off with the positives…yesterday was our six year anniversary. My girls were so excited to hear their names in church and see them in the bulletin, it was well worth keeping the secret. M1 kept marveling at the fact it has been six years and that they have been with me for nine years in December. Yes I got them in December the day after Christmas in 2005 they were my very first in home foster placement (I had been doing respite in other people’s home prior).
Little Bit is trusting me more and more daily. She regularly seeks me out now for hugs and asks for kisses. She snuggles with me each morning when she wakes up and often crawls into my lap. Today at daycare she didn’t want to let me go it was the first time in four months she even blinked when I left. She has grown four inches and spoke her first clear sentence today “I love you Mocha” in the car as we went to pick up Mocha from the dog walker. My heart swells when I admire the growth she has made and it floors me how much progress has occurred.
Then there is Little Man. Well he has also grown two inches but that is pretty much where the positives end. Poor Little Man is in turmoil and his behavior shows it. Daily trips to the office and constant behavior outbursts make him quite the handful. He regularly screams, hits and destroys things in the house as well. I have been through three curtain rods, one bookcase and so many pants I cannot even count. His rage and anger are barely containable on most days and it has gotten to the point they want him to get a diagnostic evaluation. We just classified him for school as Emotionally Disturbed and decided to put him in a contained classroom even though he is very bright. It breaks my heart to see him suffering so. Sometimes he returns my hugs and kisses, other times he remains detached.When he found out he was going to overnights he got worse much worse. Finally tonight he said he is scared to go home because people break in and steal Mommy and Daddy’s medicine. WOW my heart broke when I heard that, he is so small and scared.
Add to this mess Mom. Last month we were told that overnights would start on 6/21/14. I was told to prep the kids and plan for a Saturday/Sunday start with me picking up on Sundays. I talked to the kids, got them ready, last week I get the email “overnight visits have been put off indefinitely” No other information, no answer to questions asked. Grrr I hate not knowing what is going on. We agreed Mom would tell Little Man after all she knows why it isn’t happening and I don’t. Today I get two emails..first one “Mom will not talk to Little Man about the over nights not happening until he brings it up” WHAT!!!!!!! So if he never brings it up to her she never tells him and if he brings it up with me I am suppose to say “Ask Mom” and pray for the best?? Second email “Mom is not allowed to leave the house (treatment house) for any reason” OK sure tell me something but give me no usable information why don’t you? I ask what is going on in an email and get the out of office assistant. Great guys this goes down tomorrow, oh wait no it won’t she isn’t saying anything.
Now do you see why I want to get off for a minute?
Oh well, the babysitter came tonight and I went for a long walk and kept a blank mind. Came home and started writing, my outlet, and reminded myself no point stressing over what you can’t control. So with the mindless television blaring and the dog snoring loudly I guess all is well here in the house.